Though five years old Danny ha just joined a new school, he's unenthusiastic about attending it. It's his father's frequent transfers, and the subsequent changes in school and residence that have robbed him of the joy of joining a new school. During the past three years, Danny has studied in three different schools! There are many children like Danny who suffer because of their parent's frequent transfers. These changes may leave them frustrated and weary too.

Danny Worrying

Until, recently it was widely believed that children adjust better, and more easily to new situations. But child psychologists have discovered that children are more vulnerable to stress than grown ups. Adults are mentally more mature, and have a greater ability, and more resources to draw upon to adjust to changing situations. Moreover, they can understand the benefits a transfer may bring, like an increase in salary, or a promotion with more social standing etc. For children, separation from their friends can be very upsetting. They might feel anxious too about entering a new environment in a strange place. Thus, transfers can make the life of a child miserable.

To avoid these frustrations, parents who face this situation can take several steps.

Children should be informed about the shifting as early as possible. They can usually understand what is happening to them if the situation is sensitively explained. So, the reality and necessity of leaving the place must be made known to them.

You can also prepare your child for a change by talking about the new school and place encouragingly. Mention the nice things and interesting opportunities it will provide. If you get the chance, try to make a visit to the new home and school before you actually move to the place.

If you look on the transfer with fear and worry, your child will be worried too, and will suffer unnecessary anxiety. If you look on it with a positive happy outlook, your children tend to share the same attitude.

Also, much distress can be avoided if the children participate actively in the arrangements of transferring residence. Some parents entrust their children to relatives or friends in order to avoid any discomfort when the actual move is made. But when the children are suddenly brought into new surroundings, without much preparation, they find it very difficult to fit into it.

Try to keep aside all your arrangements for a while to make the first few days at a new place pleasant and enjoyable for your child. Spend time with your children having fun by visiting parks and other places of interest. This will help to erase their fears and anxieties, and will prepare them for a happy start.