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Making New Year's Resolutions That Will Bear Fruit

By Edited May 2, 2016 2 1

Catch the Vision of the Coming New Year

And Learn How to Transform Your Life

Making New Year's Resolutions That Bear Fruit

The New Year ushers in the ancient Babylonian tradition of making promises to the gods to earn their favor. Anciently, these vows were about paying off your debts and returning things you had borrowed but never got around to returning. In essence, they were about clearing your name and setting everything in your life back in order, so that the New Year began with a clean slate.

Today, New Year’s Resolutions tend to focus on what you don’t like about yourself. They focus on things you would like to change throughout the coming year, but often ignore the essential, foundational principles that are necessary to implement those changes. For that reason, resolutions don’t often bear fruit. Why? Because most people have no idea why they do what they do.

In general, people do what they believe is right, proper, or justified, but the motivating force that drives all action and reaction remains a mystery to most. Without the knowledge of where your actions and reactions come from, it’s virtually impossible to catch the vision that will enable you to transform your life. That holds true whether you're struggling to learn about gluten-free flours, trying to drop a few pounds, or want to spend a little more time with your kids.

If you aren’t happy with the way things are, and you want to learn the secret behind making New Year’s Resolutions that will bear fruit, then you first have to understand what is going on inside your head. Just as the following video dramatically explains, willpower and brute force isn’t going to work.

New Year's Resolutions: Willpower Doesn't Work

Is Your Basic Childhood Conditioning Still Intact?

For most individuals, their basic childhood programming is still intact. Basic childhood conditioning involves the initial decision you made as an infant that you continue to use as the basis or foundation for getting along in the world today. You literally programmed your subconscious mind through the decision that you made before you were old enough to know better, and you use that choice unconsciously to make moment-by-moment decisions regarding how to act, react, and perform.

As infants, that first decision was essential to your well-being because you couldn’t care for yourself. You had no control over your environment. That decision kept you safe. But if you continue to use that decision today, that subconscious belief will interfere with your relationships and your life.

What Was That First Infant Decision?

Is Your Basic Childhood Conditioning Still Intact?

At the heart of your childhood conditioning, sits the purpose for your life. To an infant, that purpose was to seek after pleasure and avoid all forms of discomfort and pain. It was the first decision you made. Some have labeled this tendency simple “human nature,” but that isn’t true because this purpose can be transcended. You don’t have to seek for instant gratification and do everything in your power to avoid being uncomfortable.

Once you become aware that all of your actions and reactions to the people, events, and experiences in your life can be traced back to one or both of these two tendencies, you can begin to make New Year’s Resolutions that will bear fruit. Up until then, the various methods and choices you made as a child to avoid discomfort and secure pleasure, attention, and approval will override any resolution you attempt to keep.

Why? Because what you’ve planted within the garden of your subconscious mind, your heart, causes your behavior and reactions to the people and events in your life to be mechanical.

You can try to use will power all day and night, but as long as your initial purpose in life remains the same – to seek comfort and avoid pain – as soon as someone or something comes along and pushes one of your buttons, you’ll react unconsciously. Whether that's creating a great resume to get that new job you've been longing for, or you just want to learn how to keep powdery mildew out of your summer garden, you’ll procrastinate things you know you need to do, hoping they will go away.

Mechanical behavior causes you to ignore your problems, forget them, or pretend they don’t exist. You’ll do whatever you have to, to get around your difficulties rather than meet them head on. Due to the tremendous power of your subconscious mind, that reaction is totally out of your control.

Until you transcend that programming, until you make a different choice and eliminate or deactivate the decision that’s already in place, you can create all of the New Year’s Resolutions you want, but you will never be able to keep them for more than a month or two.

Achieving Your New Year’s Resolutions Requires Transcendence

Seeking after pleasure, acceptance, and approval isn’t necessarily an obstacle. Comfort and feeling good about yourself is what many New Year’s Resolutions are based on. You might want to:

  • lose a few pounds
  • implement an exercise routine
  • carve a little time out of your busy schedule to enjoy a relaxing hobby
  • spend additional quality time with your kids
  • write that e-book you’ve been wanting to get to for the past couple of years
  • start a home-based business

Having a clear picture in your mind of the goal you want to achieve is essential to success. It’s also important to make logical choices. In the following video that shows a short clip from The Ellen Show, some of the changes people wanted to make were appropriate, but others were not.

New Year's Resolutions from The Ellen Show

The problem starts when you unconsciously strive to do everything within your power to avoid the discomfort that your New Year’s Resolutions will bring. Life isn’t always pleasant. Diets come with restrictions. Exercise can cause physical pain. Creating time for a hobby or special outings with the kids means you have to give up something else.

Special Outings Means You Must Give Something Else Up

Starting a home-based business or writing a book requires determination, education, and lots of sacrifice.

If you don’t understand the long-term implications of discomfort and the potential consequences, your will power and faulty vision won’t be enough to see you through the difficulties that are bound to surface over the coming year – and there will be difficulties. That is a fact. That is what is.

Once you see that Truth, that your New Year’s Resolutions will be uncomfortable, you can begin to transcend them. You can begin to understand and accept what is. You can make a different choice, a different decision. You can come to the conclusion that discomfort no longer matters.

Key to Keeping Your New Year’s Resolutions

Discomfort doesn’t have to prevent you from reaching your goals. It doesn’t have to interfere with your desire to make and keep your New Year’s Resolutions. Discomfort can be embraced for what it is: a necessary part of life, and therefore, valuable. It is what you believe in your heart and what you value that drives your intentions, and fuels your actions and reactions to the events and people in your lives.

If you choose to give up your fear of discomfort, the tendency of avoiding problems and procrastination dissolves. If you stop pretending that discomfort doesn’t exist, and create your resolutions with your eyes and ears opened to discovering the value of what you have to go through to see them through to completion, you won’t be as likely to search for an easy way out when complications or difficulties arise.

The courage to face your pain only begins to surface as you learn to stop avoiding the suffering that life brings. While life wasn’t meant to be a truckload of suffering and pain, transforming your life into something valuable and worthwhile always requires you to experience life as it comes. You can’t walk around difficulties and expect to succeed. You have to walk through them. If you can do that without giving in to the tendency to find blame when you hit a setback, there isn’t anything in your life that you cannot overcome.



Jul 13, 2013 10:16pm
Great article! I feel like this article can still be used even if it isn't the New Year. If we really want to change something within ourselves, we can do it anytime we want to. Thanks for the tip!
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  1. Pema Chodron When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Time. Boston: Shambhala Publications, Inc., 1997.
  2. "New Year’s." The History Channel. 16/12/2012 <Web >
  3. M. Scott Peck, M.D. The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth. New York City: Touchstone, 2003.
  4. Dr. David Hawkins Breaking Everyday Addictions: Finding Freedom from the Things That Trip Us Up. Eugene: Harvest House Publishers, 2008.

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