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Making Your Relationship Stronger: Speak Up!

egmartinez | Aug 28, 2009 |

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Every couple faces challenges and obstacles, but open communication will keep misunderstandings and unspoken dissatisfaction from ruining an otherwise great relationship. When you don't let your partner know what you are feeling, confusion and feelings of resentment kick in. Lying or faking your true thoughts is a surefire route to disaster in any relationship. There are three ways to keep an open line of communication with your significant other to ensure a healthy, long-lasting relationship.

Express yourself. Let your man or woman know when you are thrilled with them, and when their actions leave you feeling miserable. If your partner doesn't get heartfelt feedback, he or she won't have the opportunity to continue doing the things that make you happy, or consider your feelings about issues where you disagree. Honesty is always the best policy when delivered with tact and thoughtfulness.

Choose the right time to discuss potentially heated topics. Suggesting that you are a sports-widow during halftime will not allow your man to be free from distractions to really hear what you are saying. Letting your girlfriend know she's crowding you right after making out is a recipe for disaster. Keep distractions to a minimum and don't put your partner on the defensive. Discuss your feelings at a neutral time, in a neutral location.

Avoid playing the blame game by stating your unhappiness staring with "I" instead of "you". Also, offer a solution that would satisfy you both. For example, "I know you enjoy watching the game, but I'd like to spend time with you doing something we both like. What do you think about renting a movie on Thursday nights?" "I love our time together, but I feel like I'm neglecting my schoolwork. I'm thinking if I spend time after class in the library, that would free up time after dinner that we can hang out."

Truthful, frequent communication will give both of you a sense of security and partnership in your relationship. Bottled up feelings and unexpressed unhappiness can cause unnecessary stress and resentment. Be yourself, let your partner know how you are feeling, and discuss problems at the right time and place. Lastly, take ownership of your role in the relationship and compromise when it makes sense for both of you. Remember, a relationship without communication is destined to fail. Keep talking!