Man trapped in a Woman's body part II

Last weekend I met yet another person in the middle of transgender change. This person, bless her heart, had had a very hard time of life. Her family was not close to her, and not supportive of her decision to become "female" after being born a "male." I use quotation marks around those words because I feel the need to qualify them. First off, I am not a scientist, and I did not do any genetic testing on this person. As I understand it there are numerous markers that cause a person to classified as male or female, and outward appearance is one of the least clear. I.e. Lots of men look effete and many women look butch. This particular person was a mannish looking male, but that is still no indication of what the chromosome situation is. Some people with the outward equipment of a man are nonetheless, upon being tested found to be XX, as a female, and the opposite is also found.

Some people are what is known as hermaphroditic, they have the parts of both males and females. Some times the parts are not fully formed, and usually in this day and age plastic surgery is done on these people at a young age so that gender may be assigned. The arrogance of doctors is sometimes a scary thing. Just because gender has been assigned doesn't mean it was correctly done. I read a non-fiction piece by a person raised as a "female" after an accident destroyed his male parts and he was gender reassigned. This unfortunate person spent most of their life confused and unhappy until he learned the truth about his original sex and underwent surgery to restore himself.

The person I met last week end has many typically male interests, such as flying airplanes, boxing, working on cars, and yet he claims he never felt right. Changing over has been a life long dream. He has to take hormones to make his balance more closely match those of a female. Another friend pointed out if he has to take hormones anyway, why not take hormones to make himself more testosterone male, instead of changing all his physical parts to a female. I think some of that falls under personal choice. Why should he HAVE to make himself more male to please us, if he thinks he is a female? It's not anything he is imposing on anyone else. In fact, as a woman, this person is heterosexual, so at the end of the process he will be more main stream than a gay man or a cross dresser or a lot of people.

Its sad the way some people lump together odd categories. Such as some people assume, wrongly, that all gay people are promiscuous. Not So! Some are, some aren't just as with heterosexual people. Not all transgender people are gay, not all are promiscuous and certainly there is ABSOLUTELY NO correlation between this operation and sexual crimes. Which brings me back to feeling sad that this person did not receive more support from his community of friends and family for his choice. I think he has a right to feel comfortable and at peace with himself.

So often the depression and suicidal feelings these people have are caused by the lack of support and not by the actual gender confusion. Imagine if all of your friends suddenly decided to stop talking to you just because you picked a different religion, or hair style, you might feel pretty freaked as well. I had a friend who was working in a psyche ward over night when a suicidal young woman was brought in. It turned out to be a man in the process of transgender reassignment. Where to put this person became my friend's dilemma. She was afraid the person would get raped in the male ward, afraid the hospital would get sued for putting the person in the female ward. Thankfully my friend cared more about the patient's safety than what was easiest, and she placed the troubled young person in the female ward.

Life should not be so difficult for young people. I think there should be enough love in the world to accept these people where they are at. While you may find it difficult to look at a person in the early stages of transformation, you have to remind yourself that anything you feel can not possibly top what THAT person has gone through to get where they are.

Their gender ultimately will not effect their ethics. Either such people are well behaved or not, honest or liars, loyal or disloyal, none of that is going to change based on a sex change operation. Look at what good will come out of it: if the person can finally come to a place of self acceptance, that's wonderful. Everyone is entitled to that.