Managing a young adult going away to college
Having a young adult say they are leaving the home to go to college can be quite a blow to one or both parents. My first hand infomation can keep you grounded and content they have decided to continue their education, no matter where they went.
Things You Will Need
Take a step back and review how this offspring was able to make such a decision. You taught them well; included them in decision making, prepared a good foundation for independency and you supported their choice to leave the nest.
You will still be needed, loved and cherished as the parent. Those wonderful things do not disappear just because your son or daughter went away to college. In place of the time you devoted to that child when they were home, now give some of that back to you. Join that ladies group, that mens club, bowl, golf or pick up a new hobby you always wanted to have time in your life to include, sometime. Now is that sometime!
Step 1
Know that your offspring will be missing things, people and familiar places too. Keep up beat when you talk on the phone so it is not 2 of you feeding the lonliness. Work on getting off the pity party subjects and guide them into restructuring their life without you holding onto them. Let them go to their future with your admiration, blessings and encouragement. Keeping a list of fun events that have taken place in their absence, ‚Â ‚ will give you positive topics to talk about to uplift your offspring's emotional status.Step 2
Try not to renovate the bedroom of the offspring until you have that permission. It might be a relief to return home for the first year to the old nest. Redo the rest of the house if you must, but leave that bedroom alone as that college student had it when they were living at home. Keep the door closed if it makes you sad to see it empty or leave it open if you get a better feeling by doing that. You are needing to recover from this departure.
Step 3
Plan on one evening or a good part of the evening that you will not be available for phone conversation on a weekly basis. You will still have your cell for emergencies, but in all essence, you are not available for chit chat on that evening. This will help you and your young adult have some separation while she/he is at college and away from home, growing up for the future. Smothering will only prolong the inevitable, which is departure from the baby, child and person who left to go to college. Help it along by the one day a week ‚Â ‚ without conversation, ‚Â ‚ after the first month away from home.Keep focused on the fact that your young person is capable of living on their own. Keep in mind that you might be moving into a greater area of your son or daughter's life which is a friendship role added on to the parental category you still hold. Self talk to yourself so you will be strong when that young adult calls and is needing some strength from you. Have it to give and hold together for the time you are talking to them. They need you to not be there, but they will need your encouragement to keep on keeping on with their life away from home.
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Comments
It's so hard to realize your baby has grown up. You can only hope they've learned from you.
My middle child went off to college this year and he is living in an apartment with some other young men. You are so right when you say that just because they move out doesn't mean you stop being a caring parent. We keep in touch a lot more by facebook than by telephone. That way we can converse when each of us is available. I can really relate to this article.
This is a hard thing to go through when your child goes to college.
Kristara, Yes life changes are needing to be looked at all the time. TX for reading and commenting.
cygnetbrown, Thank you for your interesting comment.
ladybugblue, Hope this post will help you when this occurs for you!
Good advice for managing kids as they go off to college.
Tx Sonni57 for your valued comment.
Excellent article; thank you for posting. rated up!
TX ccdursina for your valued comment.
Having your child grow up and go away to college is such a happy time. Sure, it's rough being without them, but either way, they will end up going somewhere and where better than college! :D
We've sent four daughters through college, and now have a grandchild who will be ready in another couple of years. This is all good advice. It is important, also, to teach them to be responsible for handling their money, bills, college registration, etc. They'll be independent adults in no time!
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