How to Find a Life Partner

Looking for a marriage partner and confused about what to look out for? You no longer have to be as I list the important qualities to look out for in a marriage partner. Pardon me if it’s a subjective list but I honestly think these qualities are a must-have for any person you want to marry.

So, off I go to the first point, which is:

  • Faith and Religion

This is the most important quality as far as choosing a marriage partner is concerned. I know many women who would not date a man until they are sure he believes in God, and demonstrates that belief in his lifestyle. As a woman, I know most women want a man who will treat them with love and respect. And I honestly think that a religious man will treat his woman much better than one who is not religious (as most religions preach fairness, love and kindness). At least, that's the situation in my own case, even though his upbringing and other factors can influence that probability.

On the other hand, faith, the basis of all spiritual practices, boosts self-actualization and happiness and brings peace and harmony to a marriage, family and community. Like I mentioned in protecting your marriage from intruders, faith plays a vital role in keeping a marriage together. Research even shows that marriages grow and become more rewarding when both spouses are committed to growing spiritually.

  •  Maturity and Responsibility

An ideal marriage partner has to be mature. He (or she) must have a mind of his own. You don’t want to get married to a man who consults his mum over every decision he wants to take. Maturity is not a function of age; a 19-year-old man can be more mature than a 25-year-old. A partner can be said to be mature when he (or she) can take care of himself financially, physically, socially and emotionally.

Alongside maturity, there must be responsibility. Your ideal partner must be responsible, under all circumstances. A man must take responsibility for his wife-to-be, while a wife-to-be should take responsibility for her man and his welfare.

  • Emotional Transparency

A partner who cannot talk about his emotions transparently may not make a good spouse; because marriage involves intimacy and a willingness to share without any form of secrecy. But a situation where a man cannot talk about his feelings publicly, could lead to a form of emotional punishment for the wife when the marriage is eventually consummated.

  • Integrity and Dependability

A partner who pays lip service to integrity is not worthy of being married. This is because integrity is central to sustaining marriage and keeping the partners happy. Any sort of falsehood noticed in the partner should be taken with all the seriousness it deserves. And if falsehood becomes a recurrent part of your relationship, you could make a wise decision by calling it quits to avoid getting into a marriage you’ll regret all your life.Go with a partner who is honest with him (or herself) and with others.

  • High Self Esteem and a Positive Attitude

A spouse who has a high self-esteem and a positive attitude to life is worthy of having. A positive person would always seek out a solution instead of complaining about a problem; a positive person turns obstacles into opportunities; a positive person sees love as a gift to have and to share; a positive person changes his reality by engaging his (or her) vision. I could go on and on but the bottom line is; having a partner with a positive attitude would lead to huge benefits now and in the near future.

  • Commitment to Self-Growth

An ideal marriage partner must also be committed to self-growth and development. He must be committed to learning about being a better person and a better spouse. He must be open to learning from tapes, books, videos, newsletters that can help him grow as a person and as a spouse. He (or she) must have the mind of always growing beyond the present by giving complacency a wide berth.

  • Respectful and Understanding

Respect is fundamental to any relationship.  A business relationship requires respect; same as a marriage relationship. A person who respects others will not forget to respect you, while one who is callous and disrespectful will most likely exhibit that same trait toward you.

Understanding is also important in any relationship. A partner who understands and respects your view points will allow you flourish and become whoever you want to be.

  • Encouraging and Unselfish

A partner who encourages you to go for your dreams is a must-have. Some men are plain selfish and afraid of encouraging their wives to attain great heights.

Aside being encouraging, a spouse should also be unselfish. He (or she) should be willing to share resources, time, energy, knowledge with the other partner.

  • Sense of Humour

Having been married for 13 years, I know marriage sometimes experiences hiccups and having a partner with a sense of humour would be ideal at such times. The ability to laugh at one’s self and mistakes helps a couple remain strong while dealing with sensitive issues that arise within a relationship. On a serious note, having a sense of humour can be a lifesaver in a relationship. It defuses potentially volatile situations and eases the tense moments in a relationship.

  • Good Family Background

Nowadays, we tend to neglect this but, it’s important as marriage is not just a union of two persons but the coming together of two families, two religions and two cultures. This is very important and should not be overlooked as a rift can occur and scar the relationship if one of the two families has extremist tendencies. So, aside from studying your partner-to-be, take a look at his family background; is it a good one?

Take a look at how your partner's father treats the mother. Consider if the parents are divorced and how your partner feels about how their divorce and its' impact on his (or her) life. Other factors to consider include drugs involvement, alcohol addiction, verbal and physical abuse; are they part of the family?

  • Financial Stability

While it is true that a woman can support a man financially, it is good to marry a man who is financially stable. Lack of money has destroyed many marriages that had the potential to succeed. That is however not to say a man who doesn't have adequate finances won’t make a good mate. No; sometimes, all you need to consider is the man’s willingness and commitment to growing his income over time.

  • Attractiveness

There must be a sort of chemistry between the two of you. If the chemistry is not there, please don’t procceed with marriage plans. Make sure you’re attracted to your partner and vice versa before you proceed with any plans. You must always feel like being in the presence of your mate; it’s a sign that you’re attracted to each other.

Summary and Action TakeAway

There you have it; 12 qualities to look out for in a potential life partner. Consider these traits and get a marriage partner of your dreams! For further reading, please get the book below. It's written by Dr Neil Clark Warren and talks about the most important things in a relationship.

Finding the Love of Your Life: Ten Principles for Choosing the Right Marriage Partner
Amazon Price: $14.00 $8.00 Buy Now
(price as of Sep 30, 2013)
This book is a must-read if you intend to get serious with a relationship. It helps singles get past infatuation and evaluate the potential of their lives together. It also helps singles keep a level head and not base their relationship on feelings. If you're single, get this book! If you're married, get it for the singles around you! I can't recommend it enough.