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Marriage problems - loving relationships

godfather25 | Feb 3, 2010 |

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The divorce rate continues to climb in this country. Nearly 50% for first time marriages, 67% for second, and 74% for third. Marriage problems and relationships struggles tend to be a common problem within one person. Not simply just who they decide to marry, but faults in their own actions. Not to say its all one persons fault. Marriage counseling, or relationship counseling isn't always the answer. The answer to your marriage problems tend to stare you right in the face. It's not always not knowing your problems, but refusing to change them. Refusing to acknowledge faults and mistakes can really help ruin a marriage.

Finding love is a mystery to mankind. I was sitting in church last Saturday, listening to a homily. Then the priest quotes the meaning to love someone, in the scriptures. 1 Corinthians 13:1-8a and 13: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.... And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

Think about the scripture long and hard. Think about what those words mean. Think about your own relationship, or marriage. Have you loved your partner this way? Have you tried understanding and shown forgiving kind of love in the relationship? You see, we spend too much time worrying about our own troubles, faults, and fears. We spend too much time wrapped up in the problems that we have. How often do we take the time to consider others and their feelings? Probably not as much as we should.

The statistics don't lie. As you can see, those who divorce more are prone to divorce again. Why is that? I'll tell you why, and it varies for quite a few reasons. One of them can meant, that the person refuses to take their own responsibility in the relationship. That person refuses to learn from past mistakes. Not just learning to see the mistakes others make, but the ones they make themselves. That person refuses to take the time to sacrifice their feelings, fears, and self interest for the sake of the relationship. It's a take, and take more kind of world for a lot of people. That doesn't work in a loving, healthy, and long-term relationship. You can't control the emotional aspects of love. Something most people can't ever grasp.

Marriages and relationships are hard for a reason. Of course you have the basics of what makes a strong relationship. You have communication, trust, honesty, devotion, and commitment. All those things are needed in any relationship to make it successful. What really makes a relationship difficult, is the inability to truly love someone holy and deeply. To give your entire devotion to someone, disregarding all fears while doing so. Love is not filled with anger constantly. Love forgives and trusts. Love also sacrifices. Real love requires patience, and the willingness to suffer for it.

To improve your marriage, or any relationship, it comes down to improving yourself first. Improving your own ways and deeds. Expressing yourself with actions that speak more powerful than words. You might be thinking, well wait a second, how does this prove my partner's actions? Well, there you go again, you'll end up just thinking about how their actions effect you. Remember, you picked them to be your partner. You decided to marry this person, no one forced you. There's no cry of mercy, of feeling sorry for yourself that make problems go away. You can't change the things that they are. You can, however, learn to accept them. Learn to be more giving to their needs. Learn to sacrifice for the relationship. Learn to love more, and just maybe they'll begin to treat and see you in a different light. Maybe the trust both of you've lost in one another, can be reestablished again.

No one forces you to be with anyone in life. You make decisions, and sometimes they might not have been the right ones. All you can do is ask yourself the honest questions, and give the marriage the most that you have to offer. If you can't offer that, then you probably should be questioning why you married this person in the first place. You can always talk through problems, and communication is a vital part of any relationship. However, it always comes down to what each person is willing to do for the other.

When push comes to shove, when relationships are tested, really love someone win. That doesn't mean love is simply some fairy tale without tears, heartache, pain, and adversity. It's no wonder why the divorce rate is high in the country. Self interests motivates majority of people. Self interests in relationships fail 100% of the time. More importantly, fear provides more motivation behind decisions in ones life. Love doesn't dwell in self interests and fears. Love overcomes them. So how can you have a successful marriage any other way?