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Marry the woman you love or love the woman you married

By Edited Mar 6, 2016 2 6

The former Prime Minister of Singapore, Mr Lee Kuan Yew, mentioned about the Eastern view of marriage and the Western view of marriage.

The Eastern view of marriage is to love the woman you married. The Western view of marriage is to marry the woman you love.

Which is better? To marry the woman you love or love the woman you married?

Mr Lee Kuan Yew and the late Mrs Lee Kuan Yew had an admirably strong marriage. Mr Lee mentioned his ability to merge the Eastern view and Western view of marriage.

The Western view of marriage places too much emphasis on romantic love. However, the statistics shows that romantic love is not enough to sustain a marriage.

The romantic love soon dies off to give way to the boredom of daily routine of life. The daily commute to work, the endless housework, the quarrel over money and the irritating habits soon kill the romantic love.

Many people who daydream of fairytale ending to a romantic love probably never think of the housework. Fairytale never takes into consideration that you need to eat and live in a clean house. That means you need to buy grocery, wash the underwear, cook, eat, and wash up.

Housework is a necessity of life. However, housework never features in any romantic novel.

The movie features romantic love but never shows how ugly a person can be when he or she gets sick.

When a person gets a bad flu, the beauty disappears. When a person gets cancer, the cancer cells suck the life out of her.

Romantic love does not take into consideration all these. Marriage love is the love that can see through a marriage.

The best is to marry the woman you love, and then continue to love the woman you married.

That is merging the Eastern view of marriage with the Western view of marriage.

The Eastern view of marriage talks about duty and obligation to the family and the marriage. Divorce is a disgrace to the family name.

A person learns to love after the marriage. Even if he has never met his wife before, he learns to love her deeply, and be faithful to her.

The wife learns to love her husband, and the children deeply. Even if the love is never as strong nor passionate as romantic love, the duty and obligation sustain her.

In some Eastern cultures, people believe that marriage is divine arrangement. The people believe that marriages are made in heaven.

They believe that whatever is yours is yours, nobody can take away from you. That means if you are destined to marry a certain person, you will get married to her.

Once you get married to her, you must stay faithful to the marriage. You must obey the divine arrangement so as not to anger the deities in heaven.

The Eastern view of marriage influences the attitude of the people. The statistics shows that traditionally divorce rate is lower in Eastern part of the world with strong cultural beliefs.

The concept of divorce simply does not cross the mind of the people. Even if they are unhappy in a marriage, they believe that heaven will intervene. Some people even believe that it is their karma from past lives.

They believe that in past lives, they cause unhappiness to the present spouse. They need to repay the debt in this current life.

What is your belief in marriage? The Eastern view of marriage or the Western view of marriage?

Do you marry the woman you love or love the woman you married?

The best is still to take the best of both worlds.

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Comments

Nov 7, 2010 7:24am
LoveSpaces
Very nice title!
Nov 7, 2010 9:46am
Deborah-Diane
This is a lovely article about combining both Eastern and Western marriage traditions. I do believe both are important. I have been married almost 40 years. I believe it is because I married someone I loved, and then chose to stay committed to that marriage no matter what. Worked for me!
Nov 7, 2010 10:30pm
scheng1
Hi Deborah, the wife of Mr Lee Kuan Yew passed away recently. The newspaper and media featured his speech about Eastern and Western marriage.
We all envy his marriage and strong family bond. He and his wife never had a scandal in their marriage.
Nov 7, 2010 5:38pm
aidenofthetower
This is indeed a lovely article. I believe that it is very important to love the woman you marry (or man). I think that is so much more important than marrying for love. I however, lucked out. I got to marry for love and have been married 5 years with a firm belief that divorce isn't an option (which is probably weird for someone from Texas, USA to say). I think divorce is way to easy and it makes it so that people don't care enough, don't work hard enough, and don't strive to love their spouse. Thank you for putting this out there!
Nov 7, 2010 10:31pm
scheng1
Hi Aiden, I think it is time for us to return to traditional values and morals. At least we could be happier.
Jul 11, 2012 5:43pm
TimJohnJr
Your article is very nice. When you choose your woman, you need to stick with your choice - as the choice will last a lifetime.

It is sad though, that sometimes people may not be who they seem to be, or they change. Maybe you'll get married to a man/woman who is bipolar, while they are in their manic stage - then they soon set off to depression. Or maybe they are an alcoholic and get worse over the years. Only in those circumstances do I find it right to leave someone you're married to - because it will affect your children.

Anyway, great article! You really should start writing on here again.
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