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Maybe I Should get me a Sugar Daddy?

By Edited Aug 26, 2015 3 4

A Rich SilverFox



Some of us have to work for a living. Then, when we arrive home, a place, which should be our sanctuary, we (ladies to you!) can often be found, slaving over a hot stove, wiping kids dripping noses and angling the toilet brush for a really good scrub. Ah the glamour!

Some women however, have managed to trap themselves a Sugar-Daddy and they are sitting pretty, in the lap of luxury, swanning about in leopard  skin mini skirts, having their hair done ( platinum of course!) and eyeing the butler for a bit on the side (well, their husband is 92!). So maybe, it's time, I got myself a bit of this action? 


Doing A Bit of Research 

Bubble Bath

Now, it's time for some serious research, so I do what I always do when I need to harness all the brain cells; I jump into a warm, fragrant and inviting bubble bath. I crack open the required trashy magazine and read about the Louboutin clad blonde, who threw in her job as a legal secretary (why is it always a legal secretary?) and started her own online business catering for affluent (not effluent) virtual boyfriends. 

My BS detector is going at full throttle however, when I read that her business is totally online and she never actually meets any of these loaded Lotharios. BUT, they send her on all expenses paid dream holidays, shopping trips and spa breaks etc etc. Pull the other one, it plays Jingle Bells!

Barbie in Pool

Suddenly I am visualising this dame, face down in her luxury pool and I throw the magazine, managing to hit the cat, who just happens to be sleeping on my pyjamas. My pyjamas, which just happen to be flannelette, with pictures of clocks on them. Hmmm the type of sheila's who pick up rich Sugar Daddies, are always flouncing about in slinky lingerie, not flannelette. I realise that there is more work to do than I thought.

Blondes Have More Fun?

Gone Wrong

Continuing my research, surreptitiously, whilst helping the kids with their homework. I notice that most of these nymphs, who manage to lasso a Sugar Daddy, have blonde hair! This trait is so common, that it seems to be a prerequisite for catching a silver fox with money. Time for a hairdressing and beauty appointment. 

By Zeus! I am not sure what happened here! The hair dresser convinced me, that I needed "a little pop of colour" and that cats eye glasses were "right on trend". Even worse! when I got home the kids screamed and hid behind the lounge. And my mother- in-law, who was sitting on said chair, merely added in her graveyard voice "what's with carrying on like a pork chop?".

Mother in law

Why are mother in-laws so disaproving?...and why does my mother- in-law look younger than me? Must be the donkey placenta face mask.......or perhaps the Chernobyl laser treatment.

I should be cooking the dinner, but I leave aside the steak and 3 veg to read some of the research material, I picked up at the library (the way I'm going, this may be all I pickup!).

First I peruse a book called Sugarbabe, by author Holly Hill. She makes a few points of interest like, don't worry about looking like a model. That is a relief, however there is no mention that cashed up gigolos, favour those channelling the Bride of Frankenstein. She also says "Stick to a classic bikini wax,". Goodness! I haven't even considered......no.


Barbie Explosion

I pick up another book called Sugar Daddy Diaries: When a Fantasy Became an Obsession, by Helen Croydon. A few pages into the book, the author is plunged into a fantasy life of expensive gifts and first class travel and becomes intimate with brands like Gucci and Prada. Further on, the implication is, that these little "bonuses" are becoming an obsession. I drop off to sleep and am dreaming that I am buried alive by designer fashion and handbags. And yet, I am yelling "more, give me more".

Suddenly I am shaking, there is an explosion". I enter consciousness, the kids, hubby and the cat are shaking my shoulder, all chiming together "whats-for dinner?"

And so ends my fantasy and failed quest to get me a Sugar Daddy.

Sugarbabe: The Controversial Real Story of a Woman in Search of a Sugar Daddy
Amazon Price: $16.95 $1.49 Buy Now
(price as of Aug 26, 2015)
Sugar Daddy Diaries: When a Fantasy Became an Obsession
Amazon Price: $14.95 $2.94 Buy Now
(price as of Aug 26, 2015)


Jan 21, 2013 1:21pm
Haha. This was an entertaining read. I think that there is quite a bit of tongue-in-cheekiness. The media is flooded with these stories (geez, how many "Real Housewives" shows are there now?) and I hate it so much. I'm not even a woman and I'm sitting here thinking of the long-passed heroes of the feminist movement that would be rolling in their graves.

It's like women want to be objectified now, but don't even realize it. Consider the popular "50 Shades" book series right now. That book is disgusting to me, and yet it is probably the most popular piece of literature for women of this entire decade. It's all about being a sex slave for a man so he will shower you in lavish gifts. Fantastic. Great for young women to be reading something like that!<endrant>

Anyway, since I feel so strongly about these sorts of things, this article was pretty funny to me. I'll give it a thumbs-up! I enjoy your witty writing style.
Jan 21, 2013 2:30pm
You exactly nailed it! Women are commodified, nothing has changed there, only the style of doing it. The culture (I hesitate to use that word in relation to 50 shades) around us is so pervasive, that few stop to think about the implications. It is sad too, that feminism has become a dirty word and women's freedom has often become warped into a purely decadent raunch culture. Thank you for your insightful comment, really appreciated.
Jan 26, 2013 5:20am
Great article Imprimatur. My take on this subject is that having a sugar daddy probably has its 'high' but inevitably ends on a 'low'. Instead, one could focus on their God given talents and passions and find success in multiple other ways, earn multiple streams of income online doing what you love for example.

The sugar daddy mentality (as it seems to me) relies on 'wants' and not 'needs'. Today's world is filled with lost souls who have been trained to chase after immediate satisfaction and our nation's personal credit card debt is a prime example of such behavior!

I say, get out there and earn what you're worth and follow your passions and aspirations, believe and have faith that you ARE the winner and your unique talents actually do make a difference in the world (no sugar daddy's required). :-)
Jan 26, 2013 3:40pm
Thanks for your thought-felt comment. One of the major problems with the Sugar Daddy relationship dynamic is that it is unequal, in so many unhealthy ways. However as society often celebrates these kind of relationships in film, TV and in the media, it is not surprising that some women see such a 'relationship' as a career path.
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