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Mending a Broken Marriage after An Act of Infidelity

By Edited Jun 4, 2016 1 1

With the discovery of an affair, both partner feel as though, the world around them has caved-in; with the marriage now at the brink of survival. So difficult is the task of restoring back the already shattered trust. Many marriages have hit the rock because couples do not really know how to maintain a relationship following an affair. The intensity of emotional pain caused as a result of infidelity is easier said than experienced or coped with. Reactions such as anger, disbelief, fear, guilt, shame results.

Infidelity does not necessarily have to lead to an end to your marriage. Some couples emerge from infidelity with a stronger and more honest marriage than before. If you are passing through similar situation, same experience obtainable. To restore the marriage after such discovery as infidelity, consider the following steps:

• Simply put, the first step is: END THE AFFAIR IMMEDIATELY!
• Confide in people you naturally feel comfortable with or trust in. This helps you cope with the intensity of the situation and avoid people who could take side especially therapist who feels an affair is the end of a marriage, stay away from such to avoid causing more intensity. Objective support helps you understand better the real issues you are faced with.
• Open the line of communication with your spouse. Be honest with exactly what happened, if emotions are running high; take a "time out" since a lot of emotional stress has been generated by the discovery of infidelity. Feelings of anger and hurt being displayed are also part of the healing process. An honest communication about what happened, why it happened and your regrets become very essential. Live beyond the usual norm: "live as though nothing happened" Indeed something has happened and it needs to be trashed.
• Rebuilding the relationship through forgiveness. When seeking the other partner forgiveness, the guilty partner must be open to admit his or her indiscretions. The healing is quickened with such display of honesty.
• When issues that led the straying partner is brought into proper perspective and explored, factors that led to such an act should taken care of to avoid future re-occurrence. Effort should be applied to ease off any perceived insecurities by both parties.
• Like my Bible taught me, "Remember Your First Love"; rekindle the passion again. What was that thing that got you attracted to your spouse when you first met? Pay more attention to the need of your spouse.
• Behavior that could trigger insecurity should be avoided if you are the guilty party in the infidelity. Let go on the past and forge ahead towards restoring your marriage back to that once sure "rock" or even developing it to a stronger relationship.

When both parties arrive at a mutual goal of reconciliation, recovering the marriage back to a stronger footing takes time, energy and commitment, thus a marriage counselor could be sought out to restore the marriage back. The healing process is difficult and slow but both parties should be committed to want to make the relationship work again. Be determined, save that marriage, and you could be rewarded with a great partnership that grows in depth, honesty and intimacy.



Dec 19, 2009 4:42am
Tiger Woods needs to read this article!
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