The sainted missionary of love known simply as Mother Teresa has captivated the faith of many who have known her directly and indirectly. She was all about being and doing something beautiful for God. She is known to many as “blessed Mother Teresa.” The history of Mother Teresa is mainly compilations of her own words. That is how graced she was. Even though she experienced God’s absence (as revealed in her letters to her superiors), and this was a suffering for her, she continued to give service, with a full heart. One of her sayings was, “Love until it hurts.”

Like any great person, she had her detractors. When the letters of her inner spiritual life were made public those people balanced the devotee followers with those who denied her truth. In some of her letters she admits to doubt. She falls off the belief wagon. She questions whether she made a mistake in responding to the call of the sacred heart. All those words she wrote in confidentiality have been eschewed by some to disqualify her saintliness. No matter, they have the right to do so. Her dark soul times were shared with her confessors, as her religion dictates. They, maybe have breached the confidentiality by allowing her letters to be public.

In all actuality, they are but a private glimpse of her spiritual heart brokenness. For all the service she provided she certainly must have felt a full heart of joy while living her simple acts of giving. Maybe during her actions through her faith, hope and love, she didn’t suffer the dark absence she felt that she shared about in her letters. Maybe those times were in her silence practice when she maybe moved back into her head and out of her heart.

I recently heard that the heart has more neurons than the brain - the mind isn’t the only thing that thinks. If the heart is an organ of spiritual perception, then Mother Teresa was an example of working from that place in her recognition of the compassion spreading she so divinely mirrored. She showed us how to connect. She did offer a way to a transforming heart. Her actions showed us that we too can be transformed for loving in action. Her heart was her treasure chest from where she worked. Her darkness showed that one cannot get rid of it just by getting light. She did see with her heart, she didn’t see with her head, and that is where her darkness stuck.

I think these words from her admit to her humanity, and her deep love for her absent one. This is from The Prayer Foundation:

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.  Forgive them anyway.
           If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.  Be kind anyway.
           If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.  Succeed anyway.
          If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.  Be honest and sincere anyway.
           What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.  Create anyway.
           If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.  Be happy anyway.
           The good you do today, will often be forgotten.  Do good anyway.
        Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.  Give your best anyway.
        In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway.