My Cat Gives Advice on Cat Constipation
I keep caterwauling and it does no good. I try to alert my human to the fact that I am constipated and he just has that annoyed look on his face, like I am screeching at him because I want an extra meal. But look, cats do get constipated. It is not a malady restricted to the human. And when you get all logged up inside, you feel terrible. Attempts to make certain moves, like turning this way or that are uncomfortable if not downright painful. I know I can never explain this to him in his language, but he does read magazines, so I go to the stack he keeps in the living room and find an ad on constipation. These are all ads for humans, but it will do for a start. I rip out the ad with my teeth and present it to him. He thinks I am just playing with paper and he takes the page, crumples it and throws it in the garbage container. So I retrieve the paper and try something drastic...I point to my butt, but he thinks I am insulting him, like giving him the finger or the like. So I do and eraser movement and then I point to my stomach and make a moaning sound.
My Human, the Diagnostician: The Case of Cat Constipation Coupled with Cat Diarrhea.
My human is catching on; he picks me up and starts to pet me, but I wince and he puts me down. He picks me up again and I wince again. How many trials will it take him to make a diagnosis? Well, he picks up the paper with the ad and now it appears that he is honest to God reading it. So, you are constipated, he says. I nod yes and he starts looking for remedies. He has a variety of cat food and he chooses one with lots of fiber. He puts out a bowl for me and I gobble, gobble, and gobble. I actually eat too much and the pain is still there. So now he takes out a cat laxative and I swallow the liquid. We will see what this can do for your logjam he says. In a few hours I have to go big time. He has to change the litter five times and I am embarrassed. But the big logs are still there. And I still have the pain. He decides to take me to the vet, so in I go into my cat carrier. On the way there, we listen to music, but its not my favorite. I like the yowling ones because that gives me a chance to sing along with the performers.
The Vet is Baffled, Indicating That Have Cat Constipation, but I Also Have Cat Diarrhea.
Your cat is constipated, he says, but she also has diarrhea, says the vet. You did the right thing by giving her food with high fiber, but she should be eating that all the time and you have given her too much for one serving. The cat laxative was right too, but it again was overkill. Let her rest the rest of the day and then give her this. It was a powerful laxative designed for just such cases, cases where there is both diarrhea and constipation. So, my human takes me home and gives me a soft pillow to rest on for a full day. He gives me very small meals instead of one big one. And I slept well. When I awoke, the log jam was still there and it was difficult to move without pain, but the diarrhea had stopped and about this time in comes my human with another type medicine that the vet had given him. This is for the cat constipation, he said. Well, two hours after my human gave me the medicine I felt a gigantic churning in my stomach and out it comes. I thought I was giving birth to a litter, but it was just the logs ripping me as they moved out of my body. What a relief.
My Diet is Changed to Prevent Cat Constipation
My human now checks all the labels of my cat food and makes sure that I am getting enough fiber. He keeps tabs on it too. What a good guy. I am glad he belongs to me. He helped me in a tight situation ...Ha ha...groan. Well, when he came into the den this evening, I thanked him for all the great care he has given me. I brought his slippers and I used my teeth to unlace his shoes and pull them off. Then I put on his slippers and jumped up on his lap..Too bad he is not a cat; I am opposed to cross species fertilization. Too bad too that he is so big and ugly. Think of it; he has no fur. He is naked. How sad. Well, I don't need to tell him all that. He wouldn't understand. Anyway, everything came out all right (GROAN) and I am now a happy cat again. And he has the proper medicines in case it happens again, which it may not because of the diet change. But just in case, we are ready to tackle cat constipation.
Then I began to itch all over and I started pawing myself to high heaven. My human looked me over and said he was surprised to find that I had fleas. FLEAS! How did that happen? My human always checked me for fleas and never found one. I was an inside cat so how could I get fleas. Then I remembered that Doberman at the Vet. He came in with his human and gave me a mean look. I knew he was up to no good. So I glared back at him and he whimpered. He must have released his fleas to taunt me. Well, I gave him a middle claw salute and flashed him. At the same time I let out a shriek that would deafen and elephant. My human went looking for the flea treatments. I am going for the toys, and, more specifically, the catnip toys. After a few sniffs of cat grass I will don my favorite cat jewelry. And I will view the whole scenario from my cat tower. It's good to be a cat.