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My Husband's Weight Is Causing Problems in Marriage. What Can I Do?

By Edited May 13, 2014 0 0

Obesity is a problem all over the world that affects not only a person’s health, but can also affect their relationships and ultimately can cause marriage problems in many cases. For example, a woman asked her marriage counselor the following question, “My husband’s weight is causing problems in marriage. What can I do?”

Weight Gain Can Lead to Relationship Issues

It is pretty normal that as people get older they tend to gain a little weight, but it is also common that weight gain can cause spouses to have problems. If the husband has gained weight, it could be that the wife in question is no longer sexually attracted to him or maybe she is worried about his health.

Perhaps her husband just doesn’t care anymore and that is what is making her upset. The real question could be based on many more things than just a weight problem, but that can easily be the start of marriage or relationship issues. When she tells someone, “My husband’s weight is causing problems in my marriage. What can I do,” she is to the point where she wants a solution to the problem.

Weight gain can make her husband lethargic and he probably doesn’t want to do much besides lay around on the couch and watch TV. It may be causing an emotional rift in the marriage because she feels as if her husband would rather be fat than lose weight so they can do more things together. It also could be setting a bad example for the couple’s children if they have any.

Communication about the Weight Issues Helps

The upset wife in this scenario needs to make sure that the lines of communication in their marriage stay open and that she doesn’t let her husband shut her out. They need to be able to talk about his weight problem and find out if there are things he can do such as get a thorough physical exam by the doctor to rule out a medical cause of the weight gain, or find out if it was caused by a change in habits, etc.

It could be that he can’t control the weight gain and is depressed and scared and just doesn’t want to deal with the situation. It is also possible that he is depressed about something or is having job problems.

Many men deal with problems by ignoring them and just thinking they will go away on their own. If she gets mad at him, it will make him shut down even more and cause more marriage problems than just the fact that he is heavier.

Give Support to Your Spouse

If you think to yourself, “My husband’s weight is causing problem in marriage. What can I do?” and are only thinking of yourself, then you aren’t going to help either of you. You have to support your husband and find out the underlying reason why he has gained so much weight. Once you have done that, it may be possible to move on and get him to go on a weight loss program to help him be healthier and to help improve the marriage.

It is best to not judge your husband, especially not until you know the reasons why he has gained weight. He may be very sensitive about the subject and feel bad enough already. Accept him for what he is, the man that you loved and married. It is possible that you can be perfectly happy together whether he loses weight or not if you set your mind to doing so.

Partners Intolerant of Weight Issues

Studies have shown that normal weight women are much more likely to date and marry overweight men than a normal weight man would do the same with an overweight woman. While women are usually more tolerant as shown by those examples, it is still possible for one to wonder, “My husband’s weight is causing problems in marriage. What can I do?”

Studies though have also shown that men gaining weight in a marriage seem to cause more problems than if the wife gains weight. Some doctors believe this is because women are more able to accept the fact that they may gain weight as they get older, and so they can stay happier in marriage as long as their spouses don’t mind, while men getting overweight in a marriage seems to affect both partners.

Marriage Counsel Can Sometimes Help

Some women think that their husbands gained weight on purpose because they didn’t love them anymore and just don’t care about their appearances. This may not be the case, but it does happen in some relationships, according to marriage counselors who have dealt with this issue.

Counselors say that couples with problems like weight gain in a marriage should be open and frank with themselves and each other and talk about it if they want to ease any marital problems that it is causing. The bottom line is that unless the lady’s husband wants to lose weight and improve their relationship, it is not likely that it will happen on its own or even if she nags or begs him to lose weight.

If you can’t talk to your husband on your own, then going to see a marriage counselor may help you to figure out if the husband’s weight problem is actually the only problem in the relationship. If the counseling sessions can bring out the true cause, then it is quite possible the couple can resolve their differences and either live with the spouse’s weight gain or give them the encouragement they need to lose the weight.

All in all, if someone says, “My husband’s weight is causing problems in marriage. What Can I do?” it may actually mean a far greater issue than just an overweight spouse.  If this sounds like a problem that you or your spouse has, then you need to first try to talk to them and if that doesn’t work, then seek professional help to help improve the situation.

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