It's pretty obvious that over the last several years there have been some pretty big movies hitting theaters which were at least inspired by comic books. Some of these have been action packed, faithful, and entertaining interpretations of their orignial format. Others have been like a lot of Nintendo Wii games, shovel ware. We don't want anything to do with these. Whether you're a die hard comic fan or just somebody who likes a good movie, you know you don't like these. Now, I've seen a few lists like this, but I couldn't really agree with most of them. There are just too many comic based movies which get an unfair rap and are really under rated (example: the first "Ghost Rider" movie. I don't care. That movie was exactly what it was supposed to be.... fun). So, I compiled my own list of the worst of the worst. Enjoy the pain.
10. The Phantom
This is one that I actually wanted to like and it had some potential. Billy Zane seemed like a decent fit for the character. But this is one of those cases where I think they try to modernize a little too much and the whole movie seemed more like a B movie that a blockbuster. And that's how it turned out. Sorry Billy. Better luck next time.
9. Punisher Warzone
This one was so bad that you didn't even need to go to the theater to know it was going to suck. A lot of people thought it was actually superior to it's predicessor with Tom Jane and held truer to the comics. The only way I really see that is the violence aspect of it, but truer to the source or not, this one was littered with bad acting... really bad acting. And it was evident to anyone objective who watched just the trailer alone. you can't really expect a lot from a punisher movie in terms of plot and dialogue anyway though. So, there are those die hard fans out there who still support this one. Good for you. Enjoy it. I guess someone has to.
I'm talking the one with Eric Bana, made by Ang Lee. This one was bad. But it was also one of those that wasn't bad for the reasons I thought it would be when I reluctantly went to the theater to see it. The trailers made it look like it would be an hour and a half to two hours of nothing, but bad CGI. That wasn't the case at all. The CGI was a strong point for this one. I'm guessing they did plenty more post production after the trailers were released. What really dragged this one down was the god awful plot. It was completely ridiculous and frustrating. They took something cool like the Hulk and turned him into a whiny four year old essentially. Whatever. The scenes where he tears into tanks are still cool though.
7.Fantastic Four: Rise of The Silver Surfer
So, the power swapping was stupid, but the Silver Surfer character and CGI looked awesome. Jessica Alba was still kinda hot, but most of the group was annoying. Hmm... nothing to completely tip the scales one way or the other yet... Oh wait. Galactus, the main vilain of the movie, is a giant space cloud! Yep. We have now officially reached the land of crapola.
I'm not going to go into a lot of detail on this one, because there's just too much and thankfully it's been too long since the last time I saw it to remember everything. I'll just say that if you've seen this movie, you already know. And if you haven't, be glad.
5. Xmen 3
This one delivered in some ways by giving fans a look at some of the characters they'd been wanting to see in the series and hadn't to this point. However, it was just a glimpse, because they crammed this sucker so full of characters that they really didn't have time for any development of any real worth. The only exception is in the case of Jean Grey who somehow is supposed to be a more powerful mutant than Xavier and Magneto combined. Yet they managed to suppress her power for something like twenty years. Yea that makes sense.... This deviated a lot from the comics and it suffered for it. "Killing" and yet somehow not killing Professor X was stupid. And now that they've essentially started over with this franchise in the form of "Xmen: First Class", we don't have to worry about it, but what exactly was the plan for if they wanted to do a direct sequel? What? Professor X is a live in the body of this formerly comatose dude whose life he just basically stole?? Yep. We can really tell he's the good guy that way. And what about his powers? The comatose guy was likely not a mutant and even if he had been, very doubtfully the same kind (a psychic/ telepath) and certainly not as powerful as Professor X. So, would the professor still have powers? And I never even liked Cyclops as a character, but killing him off screen was worse than even he deserved. It sucked that Jean had to die, but the scene with Wolverine doing it was pretty awesome. Plus, they've killed her off like twelve times in the comics. But that would leave us with Wolverine and Storm to carry on with the school? How about NO?
4. Superman Returns
The CGI much like with "Hulk" was surprisingly good. Also Brandon Routh did a pretty bang up job in the main role. That being said, this whole story sucked. Everything about it. The kid. Kevin Spacey as Luthor. Everything about Lois Lane's slutty character. Superman being essentially a stalker. And here's a big one to me.... it's already hard enough to find a challenge worthy of a guy who can lift a mountain, fly, is bulletproof, and faster than a speeding bullet. Then, you take his one big weakness of kryptonite and say.... "Well, okay. He's hurting, because there's essentially an entire island made of kryptonite and he's touching it. But then, he gets really determined and picks it up." He throws an island of kryptonite! He THROWS AN ISLAND OF KRYPTONITE!!!! If your head didn't just explode, please move on to number three and more pain.
Now, I'm a huge Batman fan. Just huge. But even I would say that it's debatable whether or not Catwoman is really deserving of a stand alone movie. I know that there's been a trend in hollywood in recent years of focussing on bad a@# female characters. But still, you'd have to change a lot of the things about the character from the comics to fit something like this more than likely... Oh. That's exactly what happened. And again, not for the best. I know there is a such thing as a creative license and some things just plain won't translate to the big screen as well as we'd like. So, changes usually have to be made. But everything about this movie was bad. Even the hotness of Halle Berry was pretty much negated by that awful looking excuse for a costume they had her wear. It's obvious that the people who made this movie were looking for a gimick that would pad their pockets and not actually trying to make anything of real substance of any kind with this pathetic excuse for a movie. This makes my head hurt just thinking about it, but if you can keep going, so can I. So, onward to number two...
2. Spiderman 3
I went to the theater to see this movie. First and last time I ever watched or ever probably will. It was clear that Sam Raimi really didn't want to do another one of these again. The pacing was all wrong. There were far too many vilains done too poorly. The way the characters acted was wrong. He even screwed with the origin by changing how Uncle Ben actually died. Some things you don't mess with Sam. Plus that changes your character's motivation. He may not feel as guilty now which may not make him feel as responsible and there goes what makes Spiderman Spiderman. The love triangle was unconvencing and just plain dumb. And please somebody tell me how dark slightly evil black costume Spiderman translates to essentially Saturday Night Fever.... I can't go on. Let's limp on to number one.
1. Batman and Robin
Okay. This is the last and most horrible. It's so bad that it's famous for being bad. George Clooney himself even said that he was almost responsible for killing the Batman franchise. Well, George, you didn't help things, but you certainly didn't make this pile of crap alone. This was easily the worst movie I've ever seen Arnold Shwartzenegger, Umag Thurman, Chris O'donell, Alicia Silverstone (still hot btw.... only bright spot of the movie for me), or George Clooney in. We had a single seater batmobile with NO roof!! It's armored, but has no roof!!! This movie is how Joel Shumacker earned his title of "History's Greatest Monster" in the comic fanboy community. Don't doubt that in terms of Batman's history, he deserves it. Do yourself a favor and never ever watch this movie. I tried years after it had been in the theater to see if maybe I was just being too harsh at the time and there were some redeeming features to it. Nope. Not worth your time. If it's between this and watching "The View" for example, still don't watch this. Go outside and do something if you have to. I don't care if it's snowing. Anything would be a better use of your time. Count cracks in your ceiling. Alphabetize your shirts by brand name. See if you can balance your remote controls on top of your head for a minute. Have a stairing contest with yourself in the mirror. All better alternatives than this movie.