If you've got $35 000 of cold hard cash, poor impulse control, and the urge to drop it like it's hot, I've got just the thing for you: Poo Tea.
Chinese entrepreneur, An Yanshi, has come up with a brilliant plan to relieve multimillionaires of the burden of their cash. Big spenders can now indulge in tea at the very reasonable low price of $35 000/pound. And not just any tea; the Louis Vuitton of teas. Tea grown from 100% authentic Panda feces. In order words, the best poo that money can buy.
What is so great about this tea, you ask? Well, apart from its sinful "mature and nutty" taste, the tea is celebrated for its many health benefits. Since Pandas only absorb 30% of their food through their crappy digestive system, the nutrients from their bamboo meal leak into their excrement, providing a fiber and nutrient rich fertilizer for the tea. It is also said that bamboo, like tea, contains elements that may prevent cancer.
Even more surprising is that this is not the only case of an expensive poo product. In 2011, a Birmingham coffee shop started serving coffee made from the coffee berries from An Asian Toddy cat's digestive tract. To everyone's surprise, it was a big hit in Japan and the U.S and costs between $350 and $450 per pound.
This goes to show that poo really is the wave of the future. And since Pandas can create as much as 20 kg of feces per day, there really is no shortage of waste for interesting pet projects like poo forts and poo toothpaste. And to think, we all have An Yanshi to thank because if it weren't for him, all that poo would completely go to waste.
Seriously though, somebody needs to make this man the president of the universe.