How many bad marriages have you seen and think to yourself, I hope they never have children. How many families with children have you seen and think, poor kids. You are not saying "poor kids" because the parents cannot financial take care of them. You are more worried about the future of the children. How many people felt Michael Jackson should not have children? It doesn't even have to do with the allegations against him. It has more to do with the way he was. What about Madonna, or Mick Jagger from the rolling stones? Celebrities are bad role model and when they have children, things can really get crooked. Only a few celebrities have been able to raise their children adequately. Parents have a lot to answer for when it comes to raising children. The easy part of parenting is making the baby. That is the most fun part and the shortest part of parenting. Maybe that is why some parents seem to forget the cost of raising a child. The cost is not always monetary even it that is really important. It takes more than money to raise a responsible child. You need to be emotionally available to your child. If you can't help yourself, how are you going to help someone else? Most of all, how are you going to help someone that will be fully dependent on you for years to come?
Having children is a blessing and a gamble. You plan for it or sometimes as many would say it just happened. Every birth has a story. Some are joyous and others are just really terrifying. Now that your child is born, the decisions you make might have great impact on your child. These decisions will affect him in whatever he does in the future. You only have few years to get it right or face the upward struggle. Take for example, you do not want a child but the condom broke. You do not want a child but you give in to make your spouse happy. Your child might be a result of an unwanted or forced intercourse. The child is not responsible for what happened to you or how he came into the world. That being said, his arrival can be problematic and a soul searching moment. What should you do with an unwanted child? You could go down the adoption route. Your child will come looking for your many years later with a lot of questions. You could also grudgingly raise your child and make his life miserable. These decisions in the early years of your child will go on to shape what he or she will become.
The singer formerly known as prince sang "When doves cry", Maybe I'm just too demanding, Maybe I'm just like my father too bold, Maybe I'm just like my mother, she's never satisfied.
These words highlight how we live in the constant shadow of our parents. If you parents are too demanding, you will likely have those traits. If your mother is never satisfied, well you might unknowingly have the same tendency. A child that never feels wanted and love will grow up to develop personality disorder and inferiority complex. No amount of therapy can correct the damage done. It will be a constant struggle for that child until the end. Hence, as a parent, you have a moral responsibility towards your children to get it right the first time. You cannot always go back to amend what is crooked.
A key factor in "TRYING" to get it right is to know yourself. If you have issues that are still lurking in the shadows, deal with them before putting your child through the same thing.
How many parents are drug addicts? How many parents have problems with alcohol abuse? How many parents have gone as far as to sexually abuse their children because there were also abused as a child? How many women have children by multiple fathers and live on the help the state provides? How many parents have ended the lives of their children just because they were having marital problems? How many parents have dragged their children through lengthy divorce because they couldn't figure it all out? How many parents take their frustration out of their children? How many parents have sold their children to prostitution rings just for a few dollars?
As a parent, it is not your fault that you had a difficult childhood, now you have a chance to right the wrong. No matter how strong your desire to have a child, it will be unloving if you are not to be able to properly care for your child. If you are in a bad marriage, don't have a child just to keep your marriage. It doesn't work and will only create additional difficulties. What would you do with your child if your spouse still walks out on you? It will be too late to give it back. Children have the right to lead a normal life and be protected by loving parents. They are not there to solve their parent's problems.
Some children have had to deal with depression due to neglect from their parents. Some have gone on a course of self destruction. The human mind is a terrible foe when not properly educated. It might not all be your fault that you child decides to take his own life. Don't contribute to his downward spiral by making the wrong decisions. It might sound cruel to say that some people should not have children. It might be mean to put in a law that bars some category of people from having children. A lot will complain that having children is part of our human rights. Having responsible parents is also part of the human right of children. Everyone clamors for their rights and no one stops to think about responsibility. Having children should not be a right attributed to everyone. The fact that you have the right to do something doesn't mean you should do it. The fact that you have the right to procreate doesn't mean you should do so.