A lot of married couples think they know what it feels like to raise a child. They have read a lot of books about raising children and about pregnancy. They know that a baby has to eat regularly and it cries a lot. They understand intellectually what it means. However, only a few couples really understand what having and raising a child is about. Those couples often decide not to have children. For the rest who still decide to go ahead, you need to understand that you will be undertaking a lifelong project.
First 3 months
If you really like to sleep, you will have to forget about that and be ready for a lot of sleepless nights. The lack of sleep might push you to the brink and will have an impact on your life as a couple. At times you will long for the good old days when everything was easier. At times, you might want to take the child back to the hospital and tell them you will be back when he turns eighteen. That is of course wishful thinking. You will fight over whose turn it is to get up and take care of your baby. You will become irritable and your sex life will be zero. Does it mean that having a child can reduce your sex drive? Not quite! It just means that you will want to have sex but you will also want to get some sleep.
Planning for sex
If you've ever heard about family planning, well you will have to think about it seriously. You need to take the advice and apply it to your sex life. If you have been the type who thinks planning for sex kills the fun, you will have to change the way you think. Otherwise, it will be zero sex for many years to come. Come to think about it, children tend to stay longer with their parents for more than twenty years. You will end up in a sexless marriage if you don't plan. Does it really kill the fun? That is not true. If you are hungry for sex, you will be grateful for the little you get. That is what having children can do to and for your sex life. How do you plan for sex?
After waiting for the normal period of abstinence after child birth, you will have to get the calendar out and put in some strategic dates. After a few weeks you will begin to understand your child's behavior. If he feeds everyone 3 to 4 hours, you need to take note and schedule sex around that. Nothings kills the mood more that making love to the sound of a crying or screaming baby. If your parents come to visit and they want to take the child for a walk so you can get some peace and quiet, make the most of it. You don't even have to feel like making love. There is nothing wrong in going through the motions. It is better than nothing and will ease a lot of tension you might be feeling. Don't be overly protective of your baby, if someone, a member of the family wants to take care while you get some rest and need sex, don't feel guilty. Enjoy the free moment and plan for it. Quick sex is better than zero sex
Some new mothers make the mistake of neglecting their marriage because of a new born. Remember that your spouse was there before the baby and will be there once your child grows up and leave home. Don't neglect your spouse and don't use your child as an excuse to avoid sex. Share the work load so that you will never be always tired for sex. Remember that sex is good for your marriage and it is also good for you. Plan for sex and it will keep your marriage alive and will give you more energy to take care of your child.