Parents have always been so caring and tender towards their children.They tend to do anything to keep their children happy and cheerful.They always stand by their side, defending them from all troubles and showing the right path of life.Whatever harsh times they undergo, they never leave their children in distress.But do children, on reaching adolescence, care for their parents? I certainly do not agree.
Considering the present modern and lucrative generation, its hard to find someone today spending ample time with their parents, sharing their problems and catering to their parents' needs when they need it the most.Instead, we come across a tendency among adult children to stay away from their parents, after a certain stage of life.People prefer nuclear families and escape into their own world as soon as they acquire the potential to stand on their own.They even forget that they have reached this stage due to the sheer efforts of their parents, who worked day and night to bring them up and give them all the requisites of life.Though parents do not expect anything in return, still their lives become stressed by this attitude of their children once they turn to mature adults.The present generation is always behind fame, prosperity and wealth.They hardly care about their parents after a certain stage.We see many parents ending up in old age homes after a particular age due to lack of care and protection.We see several such cases and it always hurts us to see the plight of such parents.Do they really deserve this?
They were there for us, always by our side, never letting us down. But in return, we never cared for them or their feelings. They fed us when they had nothing to eat, they gave us the best of everything. Yet,who cares?Once we are on our own, they become a burden.Today we see people staying away from their parents, leading a nuclear family.While people experience liberty in such cases, how many of them hardly care for the future of their parents ?We hardly find someone who gives a second thought before moving on.
There are cases where children where mentally tortured to such extremes in their childhood, that they tend to stay away from their parents when they reach adulthood.But still, it's not acceptable by any means to ignore our parents.Though its hard to change them after a certain age, we can certainly bring about a change in ourselves to cope with their way of living.The generation gap might be large but certainly nothing is impossible.It doesn't take much to bring about a smile in their faces.The only thing that matters is that we should bring about that change. Rather than leaving them to live their lives independently, why don't we just step out and say -"I'm there for you!"
In my opinion, parents are similar to God, because it is only because of them that we are here today.Earlier days, people preferred to stay in joint families that had almost all the members of the family tree under one roof.But today, such joint families are very hard to find.People prefer more privacy and space in nuclear families, compared to the congested lifestyle and lack of privacy in joint families.Time has changed and we have suited so.
Abandonment of parents by their adult children is one major issue rising globally on a rapid pace today. Abandonment need not necessarily be physical.It could emotional as well.There are various types of abandonment:
Desertion is the failure to return calls, return emails, forgetting important dates and functions such as birthdays, anniversaries etc.
Name addressing involves addressing elders by their names in public places that literally degrades the person.
Dropping aged parents in shelter homes, due to lack of time in caring for their needs, is another commonly seen abandonment trend today.
Physical abuse of parents involve attacks with objects, beating, kicking, pushing and swearing at them in a demeaning tone.
Misusing the age reason involves not paying visits to ancestral homes where parents reside, forcefully utilising their wealth, usage of their credit cards without permission and so on.
Emotional blackmailing includes restricting grandparents from seeing their grandchildren if they do not succumb to certain demands of their adult children. Also, many a times, adult children turn a deaf ear to their parents with regards to late night partying, use of alcoholic beverages at home, sleeping or dining at inappropriate times etc.
Most youngsters feel that this world is not for the aged and experienced and considers them as an omen or distraction to the modern generation. Many of them do not realise that they wouldn't have been in this place today without the so-called old generation. Though most parents have become vulnerable to this isolating attitude by today's self-centred generation, some of them find practically hard to comply with their new lifestyle.In such cases, they voluntarily opt for old age shelter homes.Many of them finish the rest of their lives in such homes and in some cases, people come forward to adopt such abandoned parents. Even after adoption, in rare instances, these parents were not adopted to give care and relief during their old age, but to help the modern family with their daily household chores like cleaning their homes or looking after their children when parents were busy with their official duties.
We need to analyse and study the reasons that has caused such an enormous distance between parents and children nowadays.While many people criticise the modern generation of its easy-going attitude towards life, it's not fair to blame them completely. Many parents refuse to change with time and believe sternly in their own traditional values and ideas. The new generation makes a lot of mistakes in many simple aspects of life. But, instead of correcting them and showing them the right way, they are often blamed and criticised and portrayed in a different light. Their creative ideas and thoughts are seldom appreciated.Their likes and dislikes are not understood by their parents. Many major events in their life are still decided by elders without their approval. When children suffer such ignorance and dominance by their parents over a longer period, it eventually leads to a hatred attitude towards their parents. This leads to sinister ideas of inflicting harm to their parents, either physically or mentally, in their old and retired age. Though, people always blame the children in such cases, one should also understand that they have gone through enough suffering in their good age, due to the obstinacy and harsh attitude of their parents.
Today parents are more liberal to their children, which influences them both positively and negatively. Positively, children have become more free to express their feelings and worries to their parents, thus strengthening the bond and enhancing the emotional attachment between them. Negatively, it has led them to many bad habits such as smoking, drugs, inappropriate beverages, spendthrift attitude and stubborn nature, due to excessive freedom and non-interference from their parents' side. Also, they have become non compliant towards orders given by their parents, due to lack of respect for the elderly and the modern carefree attitude.
Its time for everyone of us to think of our duties and responsibilities as mature adults, towards our parents, in a more elaborate and thoughtful manner. Lets celebrate and strengthen the bond of love and affection and give them our life in return for what they have given us. Let us not forget that old age is a stage that we all have to undergo in our lifetime.