Vasectomy: what does it take to convince him?
When I asked my hubby if he would consider the vasectomy as a method of permanent contraception, he laughed silly and thought I was kidding. I wasnât.
It is a third marriage for my husband and second of mine. We are in our 40th and we just had two beautiful boys in last three years. He also has children from previous marriage. I would say that we are done with having children and now it is time to think about permanent contraception. I am on IUD but I have to go into medical treatment that can jeopardize my method, so doctor has advised us to use an additional protection. I am terrible with pills and believe that they are still not 100% side-effect free. My husband hates condoms, but he still prefers them rather than to consider a vasectomy.
Men are growing up being extremely protective of their manhood. After all, the nature was cruel enough to design men with their most sensitive parts hanging outside. When my husband told me about doctor taking a sample from his urethra, you would think he was tortured by terrorists. For man like my husband getting a vasectomy is like getting castrated.
Another reason is that by nature men are polygamous. They are supposed to spread their seeds around and have as many children as possible to continue their DNA. Even the thought of not being able to produce is against their nature. It doesn’t matter that the guy is happily married and not going to have more children, it is just nature talking.
Also some guys are worried that it can negatively affect their sexual performance.
So, you can see, if you want to convince your guy that the vasectomy is the way to go, you have a lot of work ahead of you.
Let’s start with the fact that vasectomy is 99.9% effective and doesn’t have any side effects. It doesn’t affect the sexual performance or the quality of orgasm. Because sperm is only 5% of his semen, the ejaculation is going to look exactly the same.
The cost of vasectomy is around $600 and most insurance plans cover the operation. Considering that you are protected for life, it is probably the cheapest method of contraception (except praying).
If your guy doesn’t like the idea of never be able to have children again, he has an option of freezing the sperm. Reversing vasectomy is possible, but it is costly (around $8,000) and not covered by insurance.
Vasectomy is a minimal invasive operation. The whole procedure takes less than 20 minutes, causes minimal bleeding and pain, and doesn’t even require stitches. The patient can go home the same day but should take it easy for couple of days: no heavy lifting, no exercise, and no strenuous activity. The bag of frozen vegetables and bed rest is all you need.
Like any operation, vasectomy can cause some complications. Most common complications include infection, bleeding inside scrotum, and sperm granuloma (a small lump that appears if sperm leaks inside the scrotum and is attacked by an immune system). The rate of complications is extremely low (1 out 1000), and nobody ever has died from it (one to two deaths happen for 100.000 cases of tubal ligation).
If you would like to know how it is done, here the brief description:
First, the doctor administers a local anesthetic in man’s scrotum. Then he makes a small (about 3 mm) hole in one of the testicles and pulls out about ½ inch of tube that moves sperm from testicle to the urethra and snips it. After, he burns both ends of the clipped tube to cauterize it. The same procedure is repeated for another testicle. Finally the doctor places the tubes back in scrotum and puts the bandage on it.
After operation the couple has to use an alternative method of contraception for 12 weeks to make sure that there is no active sperm in a man’s semen left.
And then you are done! No more condoms, no more pills , no more pulling out, or counting “safe” days, no more worries. A lot of couples report that their sex life actually got better after operation since they don’t have to worry about contraception anymore, and since women really appreciate what their men have done for them.
My husband is still thinking, but at least he knows, I am serious...