You arrive at the Super Bowl party filled with people wearing one jersey or the other. You really don't care which team wins. Either you don't like football, you don't know anything about either team or maybe you dislike both teams. What do you do? This is a quandary for scores of us watching the big event and we just don't have a dog in this hunt.
Easy Yet Wimpy Solutions
- Go with the team favored by your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife or significant other. This will generally make the ride home much easier.
- Choose the one favored by the host of the party. They may let you cut in the keg line.
- Flip a coin. Leave your choice to fate.
- Majority rules. Select the team the most people at the party seem to favor. This is democracy at its finest.
- Proximity rules. Pick the one the folks sitting around you want to win. You won't have as much alcohol spilled on you.
- Loudness rules. Go with the franchise with the loudest supporters. Volume has to count for something.
- Politeness matters. Be on the side with the most courteous fans.
- Ignorant unite. Pick the team with the fans who don't know anything about the game either. You don't have to be concerned with adding any appropriate commentary.
- Be a front runner. Go for the team that's favored to win by Las Vegas. At least the odds are with you.
Rely on Your Unrelated Likes and Dislikes
If the wimpier methods fail to excite you or generate a good choice, look to other options.
- Favorite products. This year, Seattle has Boeing jets, Denver has Coors beer.
- Red and blue states. Washington is blue and Colorado is purple (it's at least closer to red).
- Fish. Seattle smells like fish and Denver doesn't.
- Breakfast. Seattle lives on coffee. Denver is known for omelettes.
- Sun. Seattle is cloudy all the time. Denver has sun 300 days a year.
- Allergies. Denver is great for allergy sufferers. Seattle is not.
- Musicians. Denver has The Lumineers. Seattle has (or had) Jimi Hendrix and Kurt Cobain.
- Elevation. Seattle is around sea level. Denver is a mile high.
Team Specific Choices
So nothing jumps out at you yet? Time to try a selection based on the actual teams.
- Uniforms. Does either team have your favorite color?
- Coaches. Is there a screamer on the sideline you can't stand?
- Quarterbacks. Do you think one is good looking or admirable in interviews?
- Free agents. Is there a player on either team that used to play for another team you do like?
- Fans in the Stands. Which team has cooler looking fans?
Still nothing? Time for some really off the wall considerations.
- Check Twitter. Who does Charles Barkley favor? He has an opinion about everything.
- Check to see if Lindsay Lohan or Justin Bieber have been arrested in either place.
- Numerology. You can probably come up with something by looking at the coach and quarterback birth dates.
- The Simpsons. A 2005 show predicted a Broncos win against the Seahawks in a Super Bowl match up.
If none of these have helped, hang on and enjoy the half time show. If your crowd has been drinking enough, maybe no one else cares about the game's end result.