5 Places You Don't Want Motivational Phrases

Oh, yes. You know you have been there: you are pissed, your nerves are shot, you are out of coffee, the Muzak is grating away at your sanity and what is it looking back at you as you contemplate suicide? An Inspirational Phrase. This positive quote has now shifted your thoughts of suicide to murder. If this sounds familiar, here are 10 places you should avoid.


5. Bathroom Stalls

There is nothing worse than sitting down in the only sanctuary in your cubical hell and seeing Persistence is the twin sister of excellence. One is a matter of quality; the other, a matter of time.”


4. Tampon Wrappers

Who was the marketing genius who though “Live your life knowing you are beautiful.” belongs on a tampon wrapper?! Right now I know that I don't feel like moving and if I did, it would be to punch the guy who came up with this in the face.


3. The Slow Car In-front of You

I'm glad God loves you because I want to kill you. While I appreciate you providing me with reading material, I would much prefer not to be going 10 miles under the speed limit in a no passing zone.


2. The Office Wall

No, my spirit will never reach the sky because you have killed and burred years ago.


1. Dentist Office

“Your smile is the greatest gift of all.” Really? Then why do you feel the need to torture me because of it? “Laughing gas: at least you can get high here.” would be much more appropriate.