The Online Dating Game
We are all players in the game of love, but the rules we play the game by can be determined by us and define who we are. As it is in real life, online dating is also a form of the love game where the players should follow the same rules of decency as followed in real life in order to find that one person among so many others who is the most ideal for him/her. Just as in any game, there are winners and there are losers and lessons to be learned.
If you are going to participate in the game, you have to be ready to deal with different types of people who may play by different rules even when they have the same goals as you. This means knowing how to be a humble winner and a good loser. It also means, in the worst cases, knowing how to cover your backside and protect your assets, which includes your cash, your heart and your pride.
When dating in real life, you know the risks involved. You may get involved with a dishonest person who does not care about hurting you, whose intentions are selfish, and who does not follow the basic rules of common decency. You will no doubt also get involved with one (or a few over time) who is honest, who sincerely cares about you and does not want to hurt you, who may even have the same dreams about marriage as you do, and who is a decent person overall. Just the same, he or she (or they) may not feel that you are the ideal mate for him or her, or may not love you as much as you love him or her.
In cases such as this the relationship often ends and you end up being the loser in the game. But is it really losing when you are saved from a relationship with a person who cannot truly give you what you need? Are you truly a loser when you are still given the chance to find that person who will love you the way you deserve to be loved?
Dating Online: Higher Risks But Greater Chances of Success
With online dating, the risks are the same plus a few more. Obviously, there are more opportunities to encounter dishonesty, or perhaps I should say, when you do encounter dishonesty you may have more difficulty recognizing it. When you are sitting across a table from someone, it is considerably easier to sense when they may be lying to you than viewing them on a computer screen during a video chat.
In addition, even with those you are truly attracted to and who are honest and good, until you meet the person in the real world and spend a significant amount of time with them, you can never know if the same attraction, comfort, familiarity, and understanding the two of you have developed over the course of weeks or months chatting online will still be there when you're finally face-to-face.
But when dating online your chances of finding the man or woman of your dreams are also substantially increased. Online you can meet more new people in an hour than you will meet in real life in a month.
With time and patience, you will certainly meet countless honest persons online who want the same things in a relationship as you do, who treat you with respect, who are honest and kind. At the same time, they may come to the realization, after communicating with you over a period of a few weeks or months or even after finally meeting you in person, that you are not "The One" for them. Once again, would this make you the loser in the game if you are saved from a relationship where you won't receive the love and happiness you dream of?
It will also certainly happen that you are that person who has to tell somebody that they are not "The One" for you. In this case, would you be a winner because you were not the one who got hurt, or would you also consider yourself partly a loser because you still failed to find that special love you are looking for?
Play Fair, Persevere, and You Will Succeed and Find True Love
The reality is, whether in real life or dating on the internet, even if two people both have genuine intentions of finding lasting love and a lifetime partner, the honesty of their motives and their similar intentions do not always mean that they are each other's ideal mate. There must be mutual attraction for each other, they must have certain compatibilities, there must be that je ne sais quoi - or that indefinable quality or spark that just makes two people click. Of course, there must especially be mutual love and respect. If all these things are not present, then both participants must continue playing the game until they do find their ideal life mate.
When pursuing a quest for a life mate or spouse through an online dating website, you must still be prepared for disappointments, rejections, and heartaches. The online relationships that you can develop with people may seem less personal, but the feelings that are involved are not any less real. The same is true for the people you are engaging and always being aware of this should remind you to be careful about their feelings.
The game may be played using a different venue, but the general rules are the same. Common decency and respecting your online dating partner is of paramount importance, because without it you will never find that ideal life partner you're seeking. Without it, you can never truly win the online dating game of love.
You can learn much more about the good, the bad and the ugly of online dating through blogs and forums found on quality long term relationship online dating sites, where real men and women share their insights and real-life experiences about the world of online dating and online relationships.