If you’re married and want to stay married, you’ve got to learn how to protect your marriage from intruders. I’ve been married for roughly 13 years and I know what intruders can do to a beautiful relationship. Intruders can mess up a blissful marriage.
What are Marriage Intruders?
They are any third-party that can disturb the equilibrium, peace or intimacy between couples. Believe it or not, your children could be intruders, same as your job, parents, friends, hobbies, etc. One way my husband and I have secured ourselves from intruders is to draw the lines. Understanding each other has also helped us greatly.
When I say draw the lines, I mean we differentiate between our time together as a couple and our time with the kids. We also differentiate between our time for work and time for pleasure. We believe in focusing on our individual jobs while at work but once work time is over, we face the home. As much as possible, we try not to take work home from the office, but in some instances, especially on my part, we break the rule but I try to make up for it in a way I know my husband would appreciate (that is why I earlier said a bit of understanding one another has helped us).
We also draw the lines when it comes to dealing with the kids; we don’t allow any kid come between us, after all, we were alone before the kids came. This is so sensitive, particularly when one partner disciplines a child for an offence and the other party isn’t happy about it. This happens so many times in our relationship because I’m a mother and mothers are naturally over-protective of their kids. But I’ve learnt to hide my feelings and later communicate same to my husband privately.
List of Marriage Intruders
Work, Children, Outside hobbies and interests, Sports, In-laws, Friends, Church, Financial Involvements, Television, Internet, Computer Games, Shopping, Illness, Addictions, Affairs, etc
Most of these items aren't bad in and of themselves. Yet, when they come in between a couple’s love, they could be destructive. You will need to work to protect your marriage.
A marriage is only as strong as what it costs to protect it. In other words, you value what you invest in. If you have spent time, effort and sacrifice in preserving your marriage from other influences, your odds of a sold marriage are better.
Tips to Protect Your Marriage
From my experience, I can say couples who spend quality time together stay together. We all live busy lives but we should make our time together as a couple sacrosanct. We should make it our top priority if we want to make our marriage work.
Don’t neglect your husband (or wife) by staying glued the Television set all night.
Don’t neglect your husband (or wife) by pouring all your attention on the kids (I’m particularly guilty of this but I’m getting over it).
Don’t sit near your husband (or wife) and be engaged with your Ipad, Iphone or whatever technological device you own. In marriage creed, it’s a sin not to listen and pay attention when the other partner is trying to communicate. Communicate deeply with one another. Openly talk about your wobbles and foibles; your worries and triumphs. This helps to create a convivial atmosphere around the home.
Plan outings without the kids; if they’re still young, get a caregiver to watch over them and go out with your partner to watch your favourite movie, pop some fresh popcorn in your mouth and gobble cups of freshly made ice cream. It helps to put less strain and pressure on your marriage.
Protecting Your Marriage Will Cost You Something; Are You Prepared to Pay the Price?
Most of us like to avoid having to say "no" in life. This is because it causes anxiety and can upset people. Yet reality dictates that in order to say "yes" to keeping a close marriage, you will have to say "no" to lots of other things. A life of "yes" to everything else ultimately results in a "no" to your marriage. You simply do not have the time, resources, or energy to do everything you want to do.
Marriage involves much more work than two loving people keeping love alive. It means doing some hard work in forsaking, or leaving other things behind. This is not so easy. Many newly weds are often disheartened to find that they are constantly having to say "no" to many things to maintain their marriage. And that's the price to pay to stay married. Are you prepared to pay the price?
How to Deal with Infidelity in Your Marriage
Infidelity is probably the most hurtful intruder for a marriage and has led to the end of many a struggling relationship. What should a couple do if they discover their mutual trust has been broken? What should a husband do if he discovers his wife has been unfaithful? Or what should a woman do if she discovers her husband has broken their marriage vows? Should she file for divorce? I don’t believe divorce is the solution even though the Bible allows divorce on the grounds of infidelity, it does not demand it. Now, where do you place forgiveness if you file for divorce because your partner has been unfaithful? I honestly believe forgiveness should come into play when resolving issues of infidelity. Rather than put a couple apart, resolving such an issue will draw them closer than before. It’s hard, I know but it can be done if you make up your mind to work for the success of your marriage by protecting it from intruders.
Don’t Neglect the “G” Factor
I strongly believe submitting your marriage to a higher authority would make it successful, so, don't neglect the "G" factor. If you do, who knows, you could celebrate many years of a happy married life.
As much as I've shared tips that can help you protect your marriage, I honestly think you need further reading on this subject. After digging around, I came into contact with a book by Dr Willard F. Harley (Jr), a relationship expert on how to get rid of love busters in your marriage. It makes excellent reading and I highly recommend it. Get more information about the book below.
Amazon Price: $19.99 $8.80 Buy Now
(price as of Aug 18, 2016)