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Real Men Sleep In Tents- Part Two

By Edited Dec 12, 2015 0 0

Read Part One First

I went and sat down at the table in the trailer and watched out the window as Big Man and Missy were putting the tent together. I sipped 3 soda pop cans empty and went I went to get a fourth one I realized they about had their tent up.

Ok, maybe setting the trailer up was a lot faster then setting up a tent but that was only because of our campsite. If we were trying to unhook and level out the trailer on a rocky outcropping on top of a high mountain peak such as the Himalayans then setting up a tent would be soooo much faster.

Later when it got dark we all sat around the fire pit roasting marshmallows, hot dogs and making S'mores. I never eat marshmallows or S'mores so after the hot dogs were roasted and everybody began to roast marshmallows I headed for the trailer. 5 Minutes later I heard the "Ding" and pulled my TV dinner out of the microwave. I did not want to use the microwave for my favorite Hungry Man TV Dinner but I knew they would need those hot dog roasting sticks for the marshmallows and I did not want to stop them from enjoying their camping trip.

After a few hours of talking about Big Foot, Lumber Jack Larry and UFO's I decided to let the others have a turn talking and I headed for bed in the trailer. I really wanted to sleep in Big Man's tent but that would be inappropriate for me to go to sleep in his tent without him in there yet.

I seen there was a huge bed in the front of the trailer but I would be sleeping on the couch. The couch folded out into a little makeshift bed. When I go camping I like to listen to the sounds of nature when I lay in the tent. I try to figure out what each sound is. Sometimes the unknown sounds keep me interested for hours. I have been known to stay up all night if something sounds like a hungry bear, an angry moose, or Bigfoot walking around.

I was sad to miss all of these sounds of nature as I lied down on the bed in the trailer. I closed my eyes and forgot to even dream. I was out cold.

I slept 10 hours without even waking up. That is kind of dangerous when you are at a busy campground with a lot of religious people sleeping in a trailer that was locked. What if an escaped convict would have tried to break in and I did not wake up? When I sleep in a tent I wake up multiple times. When I sleep in a tent I can hear the bears and the moose in the distance. In the trailer I felt unsafe as I did not wake up.

The next afternoon when I woke up I had to empty the previous night's soda pop from my belly. I stepped into the bathroom in the trailer and I found it disgusting. How could someone use such as cramped bathroom? Why should I use this small bathroom when there is an oversized porta-potty only 1/2 mile from here?

I forced myself to use the cramped bathroom and then realized I had just wasted some perfectly good water when I flushed. If I had used the Porta-potty there would have been no need to flush as the porta-potties don't flush. I could have saved those 2-3 ounces of fresh water for something more important. I seriously had to sacrifice so much on this trip but this was taking the cake. I had become eco-unfriendly.

The second and final night we camped the wind began to pick up. I thought about leaving the trailer to help Big Man and Missy weight down their tent but decided against it. I was worried that one of the gusts of wind could cause me to land on one of them inside the tent and I did not want to injure anyone.

As Big Man was pounding his tent stakes back into the ground it began to rain. I was getting ready to yell out the window that they could come play cards with us but he began to cuss and we don't need him cussing around my daughter. She's used to hearing me cuss but she had never heard Big Man cuss so I decided it was better if he did not come into the trailer.

I also thought about just inviting Missy into the trailer because she was not cussing. She might have been cussing but she was huddled into her sleeping bag so tightly I would not have been able to hear her cuss. Missy has above average hearing so I decided it would be best if she stayed in the tent to listen for bears and the moose we had spotted earlier in the day. This way she could warn us about any approaching wild animals and then I would have enough time to pull the steps up under the door of the trailer.

A couple of hours later when it began to hail I was getting really annoyed with this stupid trailer camping. I could hear the hail bouncing off of the roof. If I was sleeping in a tent the fabric would absorb the shock of the hail and cause it too bounce off without making those annoying "Bink Bink" sounds like it did with the trailer.

Big Man and Missy had their lantern on in the tent. I could see their silhouettes moving around. At first I thought they were being romantic with each other but after 3 minutes I knew it had to be something else. Maybe they were trying to hold the roof of the tent up to keep it from collapsing under the weight of all the hail. Such lucky people! They did not have to listen to the "Bink Bink" of the hail bouncing off the roof of the trailer like I did... Continue to Part Three

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