Bicycles are much more enjoyable then girlfriends. Here are some reasons why bicycles are better than girlfriends.

  1. If you want to ride someone else's bike you can, and your bicycle will not get jealous or made.
  2. If your bicycle is too heavy you can always buy a lighter frame.
  3. You can ride a used bicycle and not have to worry about getting a sexually transmitted disease.
  4. IF you girlfriend is warped then she may kill you. If you bicycle wheel is warped it will simply make it harder to pedal.
  5. Your bicycle will not get grumpy with you for no reason.
  6. You can lock up you bicycle and throw it into a storage shed without getting arrested.
  7. You can take your bicycle out to eat and do not have to pay for it.
  8. You can have gleeful moments of excitement with your bicycle and not have to worry about the bike getting pregnant. It would of course be pretty cool to have a bunch of little bicycles running around…
  9. You can have more than one bike without them getting mad or jealous of each other. Try to have two women, one woman for the mountains and one for the road, it isn't happening!
  10. If I am riding hard and sweating all over my bike, my bike does not get grossed out. If you're a woman getting sweated on by your boyfriend you seem to get all bent out of shape.
  11. If you bicycle does get bent out of shape your local bike shop can fix it, often under a manufacturer's warranty? When a woman gets bent out of shape there is no factory warranty and you are stuck with the final product.
  12. I can ride my by hard or I can slow down and enjoy the scenery by riding my bike slow. I get to decide how hard I am riding with my bicycle.

If you are my girlfriend and reading this then please be advised that I did not mean any of this, it was simply a humor piece.

If you are not my girlfriend then please be advised that what I wrote here is the truth.