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So How Are Things? - Safe First Date Conversation Topics

By Edited Jan 15, 2016 2 1

Whether you gathered the courage to ask that cute lass at the bar with the pretty smile out to dinner or are being set up by a friend, first dates can be utterly nerve-racking. Everyone dreads that awkward silence during first dates and so they may end up talking about things you probably do not want to bring up during the first date. Something people seem to forget about dating is that it is not just a way to find a partner you want to spend your life with, but it is a way to get to know someone better. Think of your first date as a way to find a friend first and a lover second. When you are at dinner or on your date and an eerie silence falls over your table, try bringing up some of these safe first date conversation topics.

The key to a successful first date is to remember one key factoid. People absolutely love to talk about themselves. It may make people seem like horribly self-centered creatures, but it is true. However, do not bombard them with questions either. Be sure to throw a little bit of information about yourself out there too. They are just as eager to get to know you as you are for getting to know them.

While most of the examples of these safe first date conversation topics refer to a man courting a woman, do not think they are just for men. Women can break them out too, and same sex couples as well. They are safe for all genders and orientations!


Do You Have Any Siblings?

Asking about her parents can be a mess that you do not want to unleash on the first date. Especially if there are bad blood between her and her parents or they are divorced. Divorced or separated parents can also be a breeding ground for trust issues within a relationship. It is best to avoid parents for the first date unless she brings it up, but siblings are a whole different story. Usually talk of siblings can resurrect primarily good memories and fun stories. Family is important to a lot of people, so asking about them shows that you care about them too.

Food and Drink

If you are at a restaurant or bar for your first date, this is often a frequent topic of conversation. If you were fortunate to pick the place, then you probably have a decent idea about the food or drinks if you have been there before. recommend something, ask her how her food it, tell her that cocktail is really good. However, you should avoid telling her about all those times where you got totally trashed with your college friends. Nobody wants to think they are getting involved with some reckless alcoholic. Of course, bringing up the topic of food and drink is a good way to gauge if they have any overindulging issues with both things.

Career Path

If you are blessed to still be young people in college with your life still ahead of you, talk about it. Ask her what her major is, where she wants to work, if she likes it, ect. This is a good way to gauge it you are going to date a deadbeat or a workaholic. maybe you are even in the same major, that opens up a whole new set of topics about classes and teachers. If your date is not college educated, you should probably not ask if she wants to continue her education, it is often a sensitive subject for most people. Try to limit the bragging of your own academic achievements as well.

How Is Your job?

If you are not so young anymore or skipped college in lieu of working then this has its own opportunities for conversation. Ask her if she is happy with her job, what does she do, does she like it, if not does she have a dream job, ect. Try not to let themselves beat themselves up is they have a dead end job they hate. Everybody has one of those at one point. Be there to reassure her and encourage her in her future career endeavors. This conversation topic is a good way to judge whether or not you potential life mate aspires for something more than waiting tables or if they are complacent to stay there for life.

Bring Up Some Hobbies

Hobbies usually dictate if you will be really compatible with each other. Gamers dream of dating gamers, sports fans wish for other sports fans, you get the point. It is also nice to see if you have anything in common so that you have things you can do together. Be forth coming with your hobbies and ask her if she has any. If you have a really nerdy hobby that you are a little embarrassed about, laugh about it. making a same jest on yourself every now and then will help your date feel more comfortable with you. Just do not make fun of her hobbies. hobbies can lead to some really long conversations, especially if she does something unique. Show some interest and ask all about it.

Keep The Past In The Past

This is not really a conversation topic so much as it is a rule for first dates. Leave the past where it is, do not bring up your ex and do not bring up hers. The general rule for talking about past relationships is that you should not bring it up until she does, and most women will indeed bring it up. however that conversation should be reserved for when you know each other better. You may think it is all manly and sweet to be a shoulder to cry on for a painful old relationship, but it can lead to a whole lot of drama.

Keep Talking

The most important rule for a first date is to just talk. Do not lie about your life, be honest and be calm. If you date likes you, you want them to like you for who you are. Ask all the questions you would like about them, but do not forget to also listen to their answers. Best of luck!



Apr 16, 2013 12:42pm
Great advice here. I think making sure you listen is one of the biggest. I know some people don't know when to stop talking and that freaks some people out. It also makes them seem a little self absorbed.
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