Breaking up is hard to do. At least that's how the old adage goes. No matter how amicable the break up between you and your boyfriend or girlfriend is, it can be difficult to be the bearer of bad news. It is especially difficult when your partner believes everything is going well, while things are the exact opposite on your end.
Telling your romantic partner to meet up with you, only to have to break the news can be especially hard, and almost unbearable. We fear the other person's reactions, whether they get sad, angry or burst into tears, sobbing loudly. We also fear the other person convincing us to get back into the relationship and staying in a rut once more, which delays the inevitable.
For these reasons, a break up letter can be the best method. Putting your thoughts and feelings down into written communication allows you to communicate in a well-planned and coherent manner, without risking saying the wrong thing. It also helps to minimize the negative impact that a face-to-face meeting can have.
Below are some sample break up letters, some amicable (and others less so). Feel free to use the letters and to alter them according to your specific needs.
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Amicable Break Up Letter
I know things have been rough between us in the last few months, which has led me to do a lot of thinking about our relationship. This should not come as a surprise, given our discussions recently, but I think that we should go our separate ways.
Although we are going down different paths, I will never forget the time we shared. You have taught me so much along the way, such as being patient and taking the time to enjoy life. I had always felt the need to rush through everything and to blindly follow any ambition I had. Through your example, I learned to slow down and look around me, and to be grateful for what I have. I will carry these qualities with me forever.
I will also remember the fun times we shared. Sure, we had our arguments and disagreements over things, but there were also many great moments. I remember when your puppy got hurt and we had to take him to see the vet. You cried for hours and I held you in my arms, as if we stayed like that forever. I never had a dog, so that experience brought a lot of meaning to me.
I remember the times that we played video games together. The first time that I learned that you play video games, I was amazed and impressed at the same time! Imagine, a girl playing video games. It was fun building up a game collection together and playing first person shooters.
Jennifer, you are an amazing girl. You brought so much love and spirit into my life. I am sorry that things did not work out due to our differences in values, but I will always cherish the time that we shared.
Cheating Break Up Letter
I think that this letter should come as no surprise in that I have decided to end things. After what happened on Thursday, I believe you understand why perfectly.
What happened between us, Christopher? I remember those times when we held hands and walked alongside one another in the park, talking until the sun went down. You were always there to support me in my endeavors, whatever I decided to do. You were my rock, my support when things were difficult. I trusted you immensely.
I cannot believe you did what I did. Still now, I try to tell myself that I was seeing things, despite your numerous attempts to explain yourself. I suppose it's because I had so much trust in you. Words cannot express how hurt and betrayed I feel by your actions. I wonder what drove you to hurt me so deeply.
Still, even though you hurt me, it was because of how strongly I felt about you. I remembered when I would get into arguments about my parents about things, such as my choice of career and personal decisions, and you would be the first person I would run to talk to. The things you said made me feel better almost instantly, as if I had never argued with anyone in the first place. I suppose that I am not the only one who is charmed by your words.
I will need to take some time for myself to recollect my thoughts and my own well being. You have made me distrustful of people, and I am not sure if I should trust someone again after the incident. Best of luck in your future endeavors, whatever they may be.
P.S. I would appreciate if we could set up a time to hand back each others' things. I have placed your objects left in my house in a box ready for pick-up.
One-Sided Break Up Letter
I hope you are well. A few weeks ago, we talked about our plans for the future, and where we are headed. This discussion has provided me with a lot of thought, and unfortunately, I really cannot see things going further.
I realize you may be surprised, especially since I agreed to many of the things you said. However, I am troubled and feel uncertain about our relationship. We get along well and I still enjoy your company, but I feel that our values have changed since the time we got together. It is as if we are growing in different directions. I am still changing as a person, and you are too.
This is painful for me to write, since you have always been special to me and been a big part of my life. Your influence has made me a better person, and I am thankful for it. You are so resourceful and clever, two qualities that I wish I had more of. However, over time it seems like you have developed a more liberal attitude towards things, while I am the opposite. These differences make it hard for me to compromise my values to meet yours.
I am so sorry for bringing this upon you so suddenly. It is just that I felt that this should not have been prolonged, and I should have spoken up earlier. Janine, you will always be in my thoughts and I am sure one day you will find someone who is caring and wonderful.