Save Your Marriage One Day At A Time
I've been married for 12 years and I have learned some things along the way. The things I will discuss here are geared towards what men can do to save their marriages or at least get their marriage back on track. I know every marriage is different. The relationship dynamics also differ a lot. I do believe that these three things are a great starting point for turning a troubled marriage around.
Thank You. I know those two words are simple but for most people they are hard to say. After years of hearing my wife say that, she feels unappreciated for what she does for the kids and me. I finally got it. It is easy to take each other for granted. We all want to feel appreciated for what we do for others. I began to say thank you for something everyday. I know this might be hard for some of you but just begin to say thank you to her everyday for something. Look for something she did, said, or did not say. This is the first step to saving your marriage. A small step but it is a step in the right direction.
This is something as men we know all women need from their husbands. In today’s society with everything fighting for our time giving attention gets put on the back burner. I know I did, because I thought giving her attention meant I needed to give her my undivided attention. In some cases, this might be true but she did not need my undivided attention everyday. She just needed to know I was thinking about her. So at least once a day I send her a text message asking her how her day is going at work. You might want to call or email or leave a note in the morning. Just do whatever is comfortable for you and that you can remember.
When I say affection, I am referring to non-sexual affection. I know the thought of touching our wives and it not lead to anything sexual is preposterous for most men. It took me almost a 1 ½ years to understand that a hug from my wife did not always mean we are going to the bedroom. It did not mean we were going to the bedroom later on that day. It was just a hug. We all know women are emotional creatures and men are physical ones. They like to feel loved by their husbands. One of the ways is through affection. Women need at least 3 to 4 non- sexual touches a day. So if you want to begin to turn your marriage around start by giving her at least one non-sexual touch everyday. The touch could be a hug, kiss, cuddling, holding her hand, or rubbing her shoulders. By doing this she will feel loved by you and she in return will show you that she loves you. My experience is that she will show you by going to the “bedroom”.
The things I have discussed will not yield any results without you committing to do them everyday. If you would like to do, any of the three more than once a day feel free. I know your wife will not complain one bit but she will begin to wonder what happened to her husband. As I have said before these three things are just a starting point for saving your marriage. They are not the only things you can do to rebuild your marriage. There are other things like improving communication, honesty, and openness. I hope something I said helped and remember stay consistent and take it one day at a time