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Self-Esteem and the Real Housewife

By Edited Jun 18, 2016 3 8

The Real Housewives of Orange County (17000)

Bravo's Real Housewives

Alas, another season of Bravo's reality television series The Real Housewives of Orange County is over. Having watched various episodes, I noticed the series showcases women who are outwardly beautiful but lack a great amount of inner beauty.

These Southern California women are extremely self-conscious of their appearance. They exercise religiously and eagerly undergo the latest surgical and non-surgical procedures. The women look great, however, it appears their self-esteem is predicated upon their looks; "self-confidence" mirrors narcissism.


 Self-Absorbed Theory


One woman in particular, Alexis, places a great emphasis on her appearance. A tall, pretty blonde, originally from Missouri, could easily pass for the typical 'California Girl.' Her theory is "All women need to have a certain level of maintenance and certain level of preserving their beauty. It makes them happier, it makes them like themselves again…they can fall back in love with themselves and then be better people to everyone else." 

In one segment, she admits to struggling with finding the right balance between taking care of herself and being "self-absorbed."  

However, her opening line during the introduction credits is "Am I high maintenance? Of course I am, look at me!" 

Well, we did look and we saw something that Alexis probably wasn't planning on. We saw beyond her façade and got a peek at the true Real Housewife.


Poor Behavior

Throughout the season, cameras caught her in a number of irking situations. We watched as she scolded a woman at a party for supposedly getting "too close" while talking with her husband. Her rant went like this: "Be respectful to the fact that that's my husband! Just so you know he's married! He's taken! Huge wedding ring! Just back off, he's my husband. That's all I'm saying…"  

Her tongue lashing could be interpreted as the tirade of a jealous woman, and it lacked any substantiation. Jealousy is a product of insecurity, not confidence. It goes hand-in-hand with possessiveness.


Verbal Abuse?  

Another puzzling characteristic was the tolerance of her husband's snide remarks. Statements such as: "You're having a blonde moment…" "Why are you talking so loud? That's why people stare!" "Your schedule is just grueling! Work-out, nails, hair…" During a dinner date, when Alexis suggested sharing a salad, he quipped at her saying: "$1,000 dresses, but you want to split a salad? I just don't get it!"


Negative speech should have no place in a relationship; couples should create and maintain a foundation of respect. Alexis and her husband ought to learn the difference between constructive criticism and demeaning speech. They should vocalize their appreciation for one another not their disdain. Couples who build each other up tend to be happier than those who engage in verbal belittlement.


Self-Esteem and Beauty 

Watching The Real Housewives of Orange County brought to mind a question about self-esteem and beauty. Does self-esteem come from being beautiful? On the contrary, it is the other way around. You look good when you feel good!

How can you feel good about yourself? Do something for others; volunteer at a hospital, shelter, senior center, your local church or synagogue, or your community. When you do choose to do something for yourself, don't always make it about your appearance; i.e. clothes, hair and make-up, etc. Work on your mind; learn something, create something, just do something!

Show your self-esteem, not by how you look but by how you inspire. The women from The Real Housewives of Orange County are all physically beautiful but none are inspiring. Why do I watch? Good question, I'll let you know when I think of an answer.

Find all your favorite housewives on "The Real Housewives Block," and for information on other topics, see the following articles:

Ten Strange Phobias

Custom Cell Phone Cases by Box of Rox

The 5 Top Paying Careers in Each of the US Major Occupational Groups




May 25, 2010 12:57am
I reckon jealousy, and insecurity causes more problems in a marriage than anything. Although every should talk to one another, share their problems but some men act so stanoffish that a insecure woman does not stand a chance of that. Great article
May 25, 2010 10:48am
Thank you eileen, I appreciate your comments!
May 31, 2010 8:44pm
Great piece! The women are very superficial and most viewers see that--perhaps that's why it makes for good television? By the way, I love your formatting. It makes an interesting article even more so!
Jun 1, 2010 6:38pm
Thanks LNAngel; Always happy to see comments from you! You're right, it is "good television," and I try to use it to teach my teenage daughters some life lessons. Sometimes they just see the outward "mask" and don't really see how miserable these women can be.
Jun 27, 2010 3:57pm
Although I don't watch this show I've known quite a few women who are like this. Focusing primarily on the outer self leads to disappointment later in life when youth and beauty begins to fade. You're absolutely right about making contributions of time and energy to worthy causes in order to become more than just a pretty face.
Jun 27, 2010 10:29pm
Hi thinkwrite17; It is probably a good thing that you don't watch this show because once you start, it's difficult to stop watching (sort of like a train wreck). :o) Thanks for your comment!
Jul 10, 2010 5:20pm
Hi Introspective, I just came across this article today. Great piece! Even folks who don't watch the show can take away some of the good advice. And I agree about the volunteering suggestion. Anyone who has ever volunteered knows that the feeling you get is 100 times better than any new outfit or haircut! Thanks again for sharing!
Jul 11, 2010 12:09am
Thank you so much for your comment! You are so right about volunteering!! :o)
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