You probably remember the self help book, “He’s Just Not That Into You.” Well, very soon now, a major motion picture by the same name will be out in theatres. Why was a book with such a depressing title such a huge bestseller that was so popular that the powers that be decided it should be turned into a move?
I think one reason is that it struck a chord with so many people, men and women alike. After all, unrequited love is an almost universal experience. Many people have had the painful experience of falling for someone who only thought of them as a “friend.” A lopsided relationship is similar to unrequited love, but there are a few subtle differences. Respecting yourself involves recognizing such relationships and taking care of yourself by getting out of them.
A lopsided relationship, as you may have guessed by now is a relationship in which one person feels stronger feelings than the other person. The person in a lopsided relationship who is less in love automatically has the most power in the relationship, causing the more in love partner to be extremely vulnerable. As you can well imagine, this is a very dangerous emotional place in which to put oneself.
If you sense (or if you are certain) that your current romantic relationship is a lopsided one, in which you are the more in love partner it may be time to ask yourself some tough questions, such as “Why do I stay with someone who loves me less than I love him (or her)?”
Often the answer to tough questions, such as the question in the previous step” comes back to issues of self-esteem. Briefly, people tend to gravitate toward lopsided relationships when they do not feel good about themselves. In contrast, when people value themselves and have a strong sense of self worth, they tend to gravitate toward people who show them all the love and respect in the world.
Real love is not conditional, nor is it something to be “doled out” here and there as part of some kind of sick and twisted power play. Love is not something to be stingy with ever, under any circumstances. Love is meant to be abundant and strong and overflowing, a waterfall as opposed to a little trickle.
If a romantic partner is not consistently telling you - and showing you with actions - just how much you are loved and cherished, that person is not worth your time, and you need to respect yourself by getting out. Don’t make excuses for a partner’s bad behavior. If you are giving your partner your absolute all, and you are only getting, let’s say, 25 – 50% of your partner’s love, affection, attention and respect in return, this is unacceptable and it’s time for a change.