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Sexuality and Opposing Sexes

By Edited Sep 15, 2016 0 0

Human sexuality is always a fascinating issue to discuss in a public forum, to think about alone or in a small group, and to actually experience as a physical act (as well as an emtoion and spiritual one). It is interesting to see how simple the act of sex is, but how complex all of the variables surrounding it as the genetic concept of sex is. In an Introduction to Psychology class I once took, our class discussion regarding human sexuality seemed to be to be a typical interpretation of both men and women and how we interact with one another as well as how we view each other sexually and outside of sexual thoughts. There is an incredible amount of humor sorrounding sex (some of which is funny, some of which is just completely unnecessary) and while it is innately a funny thing (just think about it!) it is also a very serious matter that is not to be taken lightly.

When speaking of men and women, it is completely necessary to resist overgeneralization. Sometimes it is funny to joke around about how men are preoccupied with sex, however when seriously considering this, especially about an individaul man, women need to begin asking questions about the individual, not the general concept of men. If I were to generalize that all women were promiscuous and all men only want sex twenty four seven then relationships would cease to exist entirely (or at least relationships with any true value). I am completely understanding of an individual not wanting to get involved with someone do to past experiences with other members of the opposite sex (having been there in my past), however to continually believe that all men are "sick" and "perverted" because they enjoy sex is, in the least, a bit disturbing. According to the study of psychology, men and women are more similar in regards to sexual habits than we stereotype them as. I actually discussed this topic with my girlfriend, whom I am very close to in all aspects of the word, and she said to me. "You don't think women get hot for their mate!?!" I insisted that this was not my viewpoint, but rather a very general idea put into men's mind.

Perhaps this idea created by the media and pseudoscience studies simultaneously formed the idea in men's minds that sex is now ssomething that we can get less of, so we will have to think about it more. I am just beginning to speculate the reasons for these generalizations, and I could likely write a book on just my ideas on the origin of these generalizations; but I will not do that. Overgeneralization is just a wrong way to go about viewing a group of people. It can be useful in some cases as a defensive mechanism (say your driving down a back alley then stereotype some guys who look like gang members: its for safety, not just hate-filled prejudism).

Next, it is vital that every individual thinks independently. There has long been the idea that a person should be an individual inside of their relationship. In many ways, this is absolutely the truth. In my own relationship with my girlfriend, I have my own views on many topics, as does she. We are compatible because we have many similar interests, as well as some things which we lovingly disagree on. I like to be able to think for myself, as does she. I feel we both use critical thinking to analyze different situations we encounter, the news, and things along those lines. If we individually come to the same conclusion, then more power to us and our relationship. if we conclude differently, than we have room to talk about things (which makes the relationship more interesting anyways!). There is nothing negative about thinking for ones self. In relation to sex, every person should consider for themselves the generalizations often put before our minds. I ask myself, "Are women disinterested in sex and am I the only one in my relationship interested?" Over the past week I have begun to learn the answer to that question. I need to be more of a romantic and try harder to be more interested in what is going on in my girlfriend's life. This is not to say I have been disinterested, it is just a common male attribute that I have fallen into. Both partners in the relationship would inevitably be more interested in sex if all aspects of the relationship were doing well.

Lastly, it is important to encourage critical dialogue both in public forums and in private relationships. While I can not say I completely agree with the method used in classroom settings, especially in the small groups where I felt we were being asked to generalize men and women. I need to commend my Intro to Psych professor for doing a great job of making the dialogue about sex in the classroom appropriate, critical, and in some ways humorous. Generally speaking, I do not like talking about sexual relationships in public as I do not usually feel it is appropriate to talk about it outside of my personal relationship, however it was great to hear some interesting thoughts provided by some of my classmates. If speaking in public is important, then even more important is privately talking about sex within a relationship. Sex is perhaps the most amazing experience that a physical being can experience. If it is so amazing then why not talk about it? Initially, it is somewhat awkward of course, but in time both partners will learn that the other person does actually think about it and likely wants to talk about it too! I have heard of people being "embarrassed" to talk about it with their significant other, and those individuals need to know their is nothing to be embarrassed about. Communication ultimately leads to a more satisfying sex life altogether. Not only that, but it also leads to a better relationship in all aspects too! For that reason, it is really vital to talk about every element of your life with your partner.



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