Is 21st century a time for women to pursue men?

Dating guide for women who are seriously seeking relationship.

This question has been debating for some time. The answer is simply no, women should not chase men at all. Women who chase are labelled as "easy". You may think I'm an old-fashioned person (although, I'm a little over 25), but the truth is, men do enjoy the chase. Let them chase you, and don't make yourself too available to them. As long as you are mysterious, it keeps them interested and makes them want to know you more.

Chasing men is not such a good idea because most women aren't strong enough to handle rejection. Women are likely to react angrily to men who reject them or simply aren't interested. Women would be hurt if not angry. Men are different; if they're rejected, they move on to other women. Men are biologically programmed to go after the women they want.

If you are like Samantha from Sex and the City, then go for it! If you are seeking a marriage or serious relationship, then you probably don't want to present yourself as a woman who is just looking to have fun. Pursuing men is not a part of this 'serious stuff' package.

Play hard to get?

Don't play hard to get or he will lose interest in you. When he calls you, simply answers him. If you play game by waiting three days to answer him, he'll likely think you aren't interested. Don't call or text him constantly. If you do, he'll run for the hills! Just let him talk to you first--you don't need to do anything like calling or texting first. That should give you a sign of whether he is interested in you or not. Dating is supposed to be about getting to know each other, not about a silly game.

Instead of chasing men, be subtle and flirt a bit with them in a way that lets him know you're interested. Make a small talk with him before you start befriending him. That is in case some men are too shy to chase. If he's interested, he'll ask for your number. If he doesn't show any interest, don't feel too bad, as there are plenty of fish in the sea. Remember just because he is shy does not mean he can't be a pursuer.

Should I text him first?

Here's an example:

You went out on a first date with a guy, and you had a good time with him. You gave him a kiss on a cheek (or lips if you would) when he took you home. He told you he had a great time with you as well. He said he'd call you or text you. As the next day went by, you were waiting for him to text you first, but he hasn't. And then the next couple of days later, he still hasn't texted you. Several weeks later, you have heard nothing from him. You probably wondered if you did anything to turn him off or realized he might be busy. You would be surprised if he wasn't interested in you because you thought there was a spark between both of you.

You went on your computer to check a dating online site that you signed up for and found out his profile was still active. You suddenly wondered why he still was on it when he was "currently" dating you in the first place. You were disappointed because you thought he was the "one" for you. You thought you could lose a chance of having him if you didn't text him first.

Finally, you texted him. His response would sound surprised, why? Because he would not expect you to call or text him, especially a couple of weeks later after your first date with this guy. He would assume that you got a hint and moved on. He did not think you would wait for him to contact you! 

Does that sound familiar to you?

The first rule of texting is if he doesn't send you a text message within a few days, he's just not that into you. If he texts you within a few days, he may be interested in you. If he texts you on the same day you went out with him, he may be very interested. My advice to you is don't ever be the first one to text him even if you really like him. Think about your dignity first before a man. Move on and continue to see other people. He is seeing other people too, so you should do the same for yourself.

There is no excuse for him not to send you a message via SMS even if  he is too busy. If he was interested, he would have time to call you or text you even at his bed time. That's the bottom line. Don't invest your time or energy into someone who doesn't make any effort to pursue you.

When you go on the dating online site, you have to assume that a potential guy is still dating women at the same time. Dating online site is just an opportunity for him to date several women at the same time and to choose the one he really wants to be with in the end.

Dating is just beginning and not yet a next step to a relationship level, so don't take it seriously.


Actually, there's nothing wrong with it. It's a personal choice. However, if you believe sexting is going to lead to a relationship. Please, think again. For men, a woman who sends a sexual text message to someone she is not in a relationship with is seen as a slut, and she can do the same to any other men. For that reason, men won't take a woman like her seriously. Some men who sext women they aren't in a relationship with are merely having fun. Men's minds can be so darn dirty in their sexting conversations, and they know it. That's why they don't want any woman they really like to see what kind of nasty minds they have or how perverted they are. If he really wants to impress you, he wouldn't think twice about sexting you. Simple as that.

Again, if you are like Samantha, then go for it but expect nothing more from them.

Lastly but not least...

  • Fighting over or chasing men will bring out the worst in you
  • Learn from your mistakes and change the way you approach men
  • Your dignity is more important than men
  • Resist from texting or calling someone constantly
  • Be subtle in flirting with someone
  • Avoid playing hard to get
  • Don't call him if he doesn't call or text you after a few days
  • Don't sext unless you are merely interested in having a good time