Sometimes at the end of the marriage, a woman is blind sided and flabbergasted when her husband decides that he wants a divorce. Often times, a woman will suspect that it is another woman or the husband is cheating on you. While this can sometimes be the case, a lot of times it isn't. Sometimes a woman will say that she had a feeling that things were getting bad but didn't realize that they were that bad. If this is the case, then you should always listen to your womanly intuition and investigate the matter quickly as this could help keep the marriage from dissolving. And the reality is that often times the wife will ignore all the warning signs that could have been happening for years. If they had dealt with it at the time that the two were starting to drift apart, perhaps they could have saved the marriage. Here are some warning signs that a man doesn't want to be married anymore.
Your Husband is Stating that He Wants out of the Relationship...the question is are you listening?
A divorce can come out of the blue. One day you may be thinking that things are going well and the next day, you are being handed divorce papers. One day you may be going about your day to day activities only to get the talk...your husband wants out.
Thoughts of divorce don't just come overnight for the man or woman. They usually are festering beneath the surface and often times, there will be tell-tale signs that your marriage could be ending. It usually starts with verbal remarks that are ignored. Things like:
I guess the honeymoon couldn't last forever
I just don't feel like you appreciate me anymore...
Marriage is kind of boring and I am no longer into it anymore..
These kind of off hand remarks can hurt you. But most women will simply sweep them under the rug rather than deal with the core problem. It is hard for someone to think that your husband isn't happy anymore and many will think that this is just a phase or one of those days that will pass.
Offhand remarks that display unhappiness is the beginning of what could be the end for your marriage. You have to read between the lines and determine whether these remarks are serious or just a statement on a very bad day. Still, remember that there is always a bit of truth to everything that we say and if ignored or written off, you could be damaging your marriage.
Signs of emotional or physical disengagement is another sign that your husband is abandoning the marriage
Another sign of a possible upcoming divorce is if your husband starts to disengage from you. This could something as simple as ignoring you when you talk or not doing things for you that he used to do. He may try to test the waters and start to separate from you physically as well. If he is suddenly not around anymore and spending more time with his guy friends and less time at the house then there is a chance that he is ready to move on.
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He may also get his own bank account and start to use different email accounts. This further separates the unity you two once shared and could be the beginning of the end.
Finally, if he tells you that you should do the same, then you know he is probably trying to buffer the impact that divorce may have on your life. Perhaps it is to reduce the guilt he will feel when your husband asks for a divorce.
The emotional side of divorce can also be a sure side of problems. If your spouse is suddenly talking in terms of himself rather than the family, such as "I" rather than "We", then you can surmise that he is pulling away from the relationship. A lot of times, this isn't apparent but felt (kind of like when you know something is wrong but they won't talk). What happens next is that you start to feel alone even when he is there. The living arrangement becomes more of a thing like roommates than a marriage.
Physical gestures or the sudden lack of them could be a sign that your husband wants out as well. Simple things that are often taken for granted like hand holding or the soft caress on your cheek or the hand on your shoulder are missing. These are signs that your marriage could be failing.
Sex. Sometimes lack of sex in the relationship could be a sign as well. Most of the time, the sex doesn't necessarily end but becomes less intense and the frequency lessens. You may get the feeling like he is doing it just to get it over with or is trying to get you off his back (yes, guys can feel this way, believe it or not).
If suddenly you start to realize that he is trying to live separately with different bank accounts and is making important decisions without you, then you may have a problem. This is the last stage of an emotional separation and if you don't catch the signs quickly, then divorce will follow. If you have kids, then this could make things even more messy.
Can you save your marriage if he doesn't care anymore?
Once you have determined that he is likely going to push for a divorce, your only options are to either accept it and live with it or try to do things that will keep him happy. A lot of times, by the time you realize it is over, it is already too late. The best action is proaction. In other words, the minute that you feel him pulling away with verbal remarks or if he appears emotionally vacant, you should address the issue and try to alleviate the damage of whatever he is thinking.
While woman want to feel like they are heard, a man wants to feel like he is appreciated. If you can verbalize and show how much you appreciate your husband and how much the marriage means to you, then he may make steps to trying to repair the marriage.
But you need to act fast. Once he is in the final stages of emotional detachment which is a sure sign that you husband doesn't want to be married, you may be too late and your marriage could be over.
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How to Save My Marriage- Simple tips to Preventing a Divorce
How to Fix a Sexless Marriage