Please don't give up no matter how hopeless it might seem to save marriage. The truth is that if you both want it badly enough, it can happen. It may not be an overnight situation but it can be done as long as both of you are patient and committed to seeing things work out.

To make the process smoother, I highly recommend hiring a therapist our counselor. By now the two of you probably have many pent up hurts and anger towards each other. You won't be able to work on your current issues until you can learn to move past your past issues. A counselor can help with that.

The more history the two of you have the easier it will be for you to fall into your old dynamic and patterns of behavior, and if you do that nothing will be accomplished. A counselor can teach you both how to relearn how to communicate better and actually get something accomplished.

It's also very important that both of you are willing to look inwards and acknowledge and improve your own issues. This is hard, it's always easy to see the faults in your partner, and them in you, but facing your own b.s. is a lot more challenging.

But, face it, unless you change what has come before you will only repeat the painful mistakes of the past. That will just make everyone miserable. Making yourself the best version of you that you can will make you a better everything to everyone in your life: a better friend, a better employee or employer, a better parent and of course a better partner.

The nice thing is that if you are strong and mature enough to do this step you will not only be able to save marriage, you can also become better human being and bring more positive things to any and all relationships you enter into.

A respectful, loving, kind relationships truly is one of lives greatest joys, don't let your slip away just because you and your spouse didn't ever learn how to work together. It might not be totally painless, but if you are both really concerned with making things work out, they will.

Yes, if you want to save marriage, you can. It doesn't really matter how bad things have gotten or how long the problems have been going on. Juts as long as both of you are interested in making things work out and are prepared to do what it takes, you will win.