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Squeezable Bacon

By Edited Nov 23, 2013 0 3

This one goes out to Rizzle.

Squeezable Bacon
Some things are so good, you wish you could just turn them into a paste, put them in a tube, and squeeze them all over themselves to get double the deliciousness! Well boys and girls (excluding the vegetarians amongst us) now your dreams have come true! I would like to introduce: Vilhelm Lillefläsk's Squeez Bacon ®! Yes it's all that you love and adore about bacon, in a handy squeezable package.

Initially we all thought it was just an April Fools joke, but it turns out the stuff is as real as Fatback is delicious. According to ThinkGeek.com, this magnificent mushy meat was invented in Sweden in the years that followed World War II. After the war he was but a humble Swedish chef, who had a love affair with the forbidden meat. Meatballs and Lingon berries just weren't enough for this Swede, he had a dream. What he dreamed could very well change the world.

Squeez Bacon
Vilhelm Lillefläsk figured out a way to cook bacon and blend it in a manner so that it became squeezable! The new creation was 100% bacon, 100% delicious, and 110% good to sit on your shelf for 12 years! I don't really want to know what he did to pull that last particular feat off... ignorance is bliss, and what you don't know can't hurt you, especially when it comes to BACON!

Now MAN-kind can enjoy all the health benefits of real bacon, and none of the greasy mess that comes with frying up your own slices. One serving is equal to four healthy strips of bacon. Just imagine the new Bacon stuffed Pizza crust that Dominoes can come out with, or how about bacon covered bacon... To misquote the comedian Jim Gaffigan: 'That would open up a tasty vortex where you could travel through time on a magic bacon ride.' Or something to that effect... Remember- If it's edible, it's better with Squeez Bacon ®!

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Comments

May 12, 2009 12:16am
Ryan
Alright.. I have to admit.. this made me laugh pretty hard... Especially the shout out!
May 12, 2009 12:18am
brawnydt
Glad I could bring some happiness to your day. Bacon tends to have that effect on people.
May 12, 2009 12:35am
Dambrath
Is this stuff on sale anywhere other than Sweden?
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