Who is to blame ?
Life is a continuous experience of cause and effect, of actions and consequences. This is a well-known fact that many will readily agree with. Still when things go wrong, we hardly ever place ourselves under scrutiny regarding what happened. Human beings have a natural tendency to look at ‘who else’ was responsible for what happened when things did not go as expected. On the other hand, if the outcome was positive we gravitate towards sharing the accolades even if that outcome had very little to do with us.
Transference of blame
The transference of blame to anyone else apart from ourselves is actually the cause of a great deal of human grief. In relegating responsibility to another, we indirectly refuse to take action to rectify any bad situation. In effect, we make ourselves as victims of the situation rather than take charge and drive it in the right direction. This does nothing but make us feel powerless and drives us into a negative state of mind that further reinforces our erroneous beliefs. The typical emotions that result in such circumstances are anger, frustration, self-pity, helplessness, vengeance, fear and despair. None of these ever help. They often cause the wrong actions to be taken and everyone loses in the end.
In order for issues to be resolved amicably, each person must see himself or herself as an agent of positive action rather than immediately justify themselves under the circumstances and rationalize their actions to safeguard their pride. Instead of going through life always dissatisfied with someone or something, the proactive person should be the one to create avenues of resolution and solutions for seemingly intractable situations. This creates space in what can be perceived as a deadlock or dead-end. Taking responsibility for one’s thoughts even before one’s actions further offsets the negative path of thinking which could otherwise result in unfavourable outcomes as we so often see.
Effects of “I shall take responsibility”…
Imagine what such an approach can do to save relationships, retain jobs, empower corporations, create opportunities and avert disasters for people who become bystanders in others’ blame wars. Organizational leadership invariably favours these qualities to steer companies though rifts and crises in the face of stiff competition.
The past and failures
The wake that is left by situations filled with resentment carry through a long way into many people’s ongoing lives destroying their present happiness. It’s too long and too late before they realize it was only the past. If only they had let go of the blame …
The anatomy of blame similarly applies to situations of failure in life, be it small or great, where it is urged that one takes failure from inside-out, i.e. address the causes that one had brought into being that eventually resulted in the failure rather than agonize about the failure and in a sense, blame the outside world.
In conclusion, by moving yourself from a blaming person to one that accepts responsibility for the outcome and in turn steering the course towards desirable outcomes, you will have empowered yourself. Only lifelong self-empowerment puts you on a path of determining your own destiny, not blaming others.