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Taking Responsibility for Oneself

By Edited Feb 12, 2014 5 13

 Who is to blame ?

Life is a continuous experience of cause and effect, of actions and consequences. This is a well-known fact that many will readily agree with. Still when things go wrong, we hardly ever place ourselves under scrutiny regarding what happened. Human beings have a natural

You are responsible

tendency to look at ‘who else’ was responsible for what happened when things did not go as expected. On the other hand, if the outcome was positive we gravitate towards sharing the accolades even if that outcome had very little to do with us.

Transference of blame

The transference of blame to anyone else apart from ourselves is actually the cause of a great deal of human grief. In relegating responsibility to another, we indirectly refuse to take action to rectify any bad situation. In effect, we make ourselves as victims of the situation rather than take charge and drive it in the right direction. This does nothing but make us feel powerless and drives us

You are responsible too
into a negative state of mind that further reinforces our erroneous beliefs. The typical emotions that result in such circumstances are anger, frustration, self-pity, helplessness, vengeance, fear and despair. None of these ever help. They often cause the wrong actions to be taken and everyone loses in the end.

Resolving Blame

In order for issues to be resolved amicably, each person must see himself or herself as an agent of positive action rather than immediately justify themselves under the circumstances and rationalize their actions to safeguard their pride.  Instead of going through life always dissatisfied with someone or something, the proactive person should be the one to create avenues of resolution and solutions for seemingly intractable situations. This creates space in what can be perceived as a deadlock or dead-end. Taking responsibility for one’s thoughts even before one’s actions further offsets the negative path of thinking which could otherwise result in unfavourable outcomes as we so often see.

Effects of  “I shall take responsibility”…

Imagine what such an approach can do to save relationships, retain jobs, empower corporations, create opportunities and avert disasters for people who become bystanders in others’ blame wars.  Organizational leadership invariably favours these qualities to steer companies though rifts and crises in the face of stiff competition.

No one is to blame

The past and failures

The wake that is left by situations filled with resentment carry through a long way into many people’s ongoing lives destroying their present happiness. It’s too long and too late before they realize it was only the past. If only they had let go of the blame …

The anatomy of blame similarly applies to situations of failure in life, be it small or great, where it is urged that one takes failure from inside-out, i.e. address the causes that one had brought into being that eventually resulted in the failure rather than agonize about the failure and in a sense, blame the outside world. 

In conclusion, by moving yourself from a blaming person to one that accepts responsibility for the outcome and in turn steering the course towards desirable outcomes, you will have empowered yourself. Only lifelong self-empowerment puts you on a path of determining your own destiny, not blaming others.  



Jan 27, 2014 4:16pm
Excellent article, I especially like the wisdom in "taking responsibility for one 19s thoughts even before one 19s actions."
Jan 27, 2014 4:18pm
Sorry, I don't know why the apostrophe showed up as numbers. I meant your sentence "taking responsibility for one's thoughts even before one's actions."
Jan 27, 2014 9:09pm
Thank you for the comments! I really appreciate your feedback. Though I'm not sure of the apostrophes(don't worry, it doesn't matter), it's a fact that our thoughts will drive our emotions and actions and hence, being careful what we think about matters...
Jan 27, 2014 9:20pm
You are right - I remember teachers telling us kids, "It's okay to think those 'things' just don't say them." And yet, what we think shapes our behaviors (including our nonverbal behaviors) and most of communication with others IS nonverbal.

It doesn't take much to physically show dislike for someone (often for unfounded reasons). I think it really DOES begin with our thoughts (and sometimes we need to challenge some automatically ingrained biases).
Jan 27, 2014 9:43pm
True! The whole premise of what is collectively addressed as "positive thinking" is to kind of nip things in the bud by taking care of the thought first. This ensures positive eventualities as much as possible for all outgoing action, express or implied(i.e. incl. non-verbal comm'n)
Jan 28, 2014 3:51am
Oh, I'm new on InfoBarrel and just found out where the thumbs up button is . . so came back to do that.
Feb 11, 2014 9:22am
Great tips, really enjoyed reading this.
Feb 11, 2014 9:27am
Thanks, I'm glad you did!
Feb 26, 2014 11:15am
Excellent Article. More people need to read this. I am getting so tired of all the finger pointing.
Feb 26, 2014 4:53pm
Thanks a lot! I hope they will too!
Mar 20, 2014 6:49pm
Agree, and its not just the kids that do this pointing. Well said.
Mar 21, 2014 5:28am
Thanks. I guess awareness should take us one step closer towards betterment...
Mar 18, 2015 10:17am
Thanks - Just the article I needed to read, at this time... Kind Regards, -SM
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