How to Turn Your Will and Your Life Over to the Care of God - As You Understand Him

Like Alcoholics Anonymous, Alanon has a 12 Step Program that is designed to help its members recover. In Alcoholics Anonymous, the purpose of the steps is to help members stop drinking.  In Alanon, the purpose of the steps is to help members stop trying to control the alcoholics and drug abusers that we know.   As a result of following these steps, we will be able to restore peace and tranquility to our lives, whether or not the alcoholic or addict decides to change.  In other words, we can make progress and change our lives, whether they do or not.


The steps also help people learn to stop allowing the alcoholics to create havoc in their lives.  When we take an Alanon Third Step, we say that we have made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understand Him.  This also means that we have to be willing to turn over to God the lives of the people whom we love, even when we don't agree with the way they are living those lives.  This can be much more difficult than it sounds!  Below you will learn a little more about this step and how it can help those of us who love an alcoholic.


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Trust in Your Higher Power


The first decision you must make when taking an Alanon Third Step is to trust in God, or some kind of Higher Power.  You have to believe that the life of the alcoholic is out of your control and trust that they are in the hands of a power far greater than yourself.  It's important to know, though, that in Alanon, and Alcoholics Anonymous, we do not dictate what you must believe about God.  The God of your understanding can be the God of the religion you grew up with, or your personal higher power, however you describe it.  Whether you are Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu or of any other faith, you can believe, and trust, in your personal God.  You do not need to change religions, or believe something that makes you uncomfortable.  This step may be more difficult if you do not have a religious background, because it may seem difficult to believe that there is a higher power in the universe.  However, even if you believe only in fate, luck, or the power of love, you can still learn to turn your will and your life over to these sources of strength and power in your life.


You can learn more about all the steps in Alanon and how they can help you have a better life by reading Alanon literature from Amazon or by buying some at an Alanon meeting.


Turn Your Will and Your Life over to a Power Greater than Yourself


Once you agree that you are willing to turn your will and your life over to a power greater than yourself, you also have to do the same for the people you love.  You must trust that, no matter how bad their decisions seem to be, God, a Higher Power or Fate is working in their lives, too.  The difficulties they are encountering may simply be something that they have to go through.  Perhaps their troubles will lead them to sobriety.  Maybe they are meant to be an example to someone else.  You just have to trust that they are in God's hands, not yours.


Believe that your Loves Ones also are Under the Care of a Higher Power


Turning the people we love over to the care of God, as part of your Alanon Third Step, gives you a whole new perspective on what happens to them.  If your alcoholic child or spouse is arrested for drunk driving or drug possession, you can feel at peace knowing that they are being given an opportunity to change their lives.  If they spend time in jail, you'll know that they are not endangering themselves or others with their reckless behavior.  Perhaps this experience will even be the wake-up call that they need in order to become sober.


No matter what happens in your life, or the lives of the people you love, knowing that both you, and they, are in the hands of God can help you to deal with life in a whole new way!  The Alanon Third Step can bring you peace, comfort and a serenity that you never before knew was possible!


You may also want to read:


Free Alanon Information

Taking the First Step in Alanon

Taking the Alanon Fourth Step

Living the Alanon Do's and Don'ts

Finding Help for your Troubled Teen

This Alanon Book Will Help You Learn More

Paths to Recovery: Al-Anon's Steps, Traditions and Concepts
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Many people have developed a deeper understanding of the 12 Steps by reading this book.