Teenagers and Disobedience
When a child reaches adolescence it is normal for them to become disobedient and rebellious. This is part of learning how to create their own personal boundaries which are separate from you as parents.
This is difficult for parents because up until this stage in their development there has been a level of control over their bad behaviour. You were able to get them to bed, eat their tea, and walk them to school to make sure they went there. Instilling boundaries and rules were easier before the adolescence stage.
Providing your child has not been diagnosed with learning difficulties like ADHD or Autism where you will be well aware of the complexities to discipline and conformity. Hold on to your hats because this stage brings about a whole new set of experiences for you amazing parents who deal daily with learning difficulties.
Teenagers who were usually well behaved or would listen most of the time will start to challenge everything being asked of them. They will refuse to do the dishes, tidy their bedroom, put their washing in the washing basket and come in when asked.
This is how teenagers learn to move away from the control parents had over them. During adolescence and the defiance and rebellion stage teenagers create their own self-control within life. They are pulling away and going against everything you have taught them so they can become adults.
This is all part of them forming their own identity and learning how to act in the world. The aim of this defiance is to learn what is acceptable within your home and within society.
Even though this is annoying and disrespectful as parents you need to remember, how you respond will be a lesson they learn and practise in adult hood. So setting boundaries is vital to their safe transition to adulthood. Educate them on the outcomes of rebellion and disobedient behaviour by setting realistic boundaries.
Making boundaries so rigid for teenagers they are unable to try risky behaviours is not a good idea. Once given the opportunity to take a chance and have a go they will probably go too far in protest.
Making boundaries and punishments unrealistic and unfair promotes the need to behave badly and rebel. Being too tight in your rules and punishments will have an opposite effect to what you are trying to prevent. Boundaries have to be consistent and realistic to be effective.