Dave Grohl

February 2009, that's when it began. It is now July 2011 and has solidified,  a necessary part of my daily existence:  My obsession. My obsession with Dave Grohl (if you don't know who he is you won't want to bother yourself by reading.  I  also have to wonder where you have been the past fifteen or so years).  To not have him in your life is to live an empty life, since he became part of mine I feel less alone,  creatively inspired. Being the world's greatest rock star makes him a safe obsession, unattainable , with 2300 miles between between us; he lives in Los Angeles and I recently returned home to Chicago from Los Angeles.  He is a rock star, married, two children, a family man. Why do I love him so? He is smart and funny, quirky, talented,  tattooed, cusses like an eloquent truck driver;  all I want in a man except inaccessible.

I am in love with a rock star! It began with the feel of a school girl crush except I am forty and this is - Love! And admiration and respect and if he only knew me.  In the beginning I didn't like him:  he was odd-looking,  long face, dark hair, a goofy smile that said I have a secret and I'm not going to tell you. I was listening to the radio and a song came on from The Color and The Shape, my favorite Foo Fighter CD, and I couldn't leave the car.  So much emotion, melodic and rough and I wanted those words and that voice wrapped around me, forever. When I moved to Los Angeles I listened to his CD's everyday in the car, he kept me calm while driving in traffic down Sunset Boulevard, and if you have lived in Los Angeles you know how the traffic is, you need something to prevent you from taking out a gun and blowing out tires, Dave helped me. Dave helped me survive L.A., not just in the car; knowing we lived in the same city made me feel safe.  He became a part of my daily existence, he became my obsession.

How you know you are obsessed when your obsession is Dave Grohl:

1. You listen to his Cd everyday, sometimes more than twice, usually more than twice.

2. If you don't hear his voice you feel throughout the day "something" is missing, like your arm or leg.

 3. His name pops up into the conversation even when talking to your mother on the phone about job possibilities.

4. He was the inspiration for the title monologue in your one woman show. The monologue about a depressed girl who travels to California and seeks refuge on his lawn (The true beginning to my obsession. But in my defense I had to perform extensive research on his likes and dislikes for it's validity)

5. You refer to him using his first name.

6. When casually speaking with friends you use possessive words such as "my" Dave.

7. When your best friend tells you - You are obsessed!

8. When for the first time that month you have the finances to go out with your friend but make up an excuse to stay home and watch him for two minutes on the MTV awards.

9. The last day you are living in L.A. you plan to drive an hour away to the area in which he lives, circling in hopes of finding or sensing which house is his.

10. You cry, like someone has broke your heart, because you are unemployed and can't afford the gas to drive eight hours away, where the Foo Fighters are kicking of their Northern American tour.

An obsession looks like a crazed lover who pounds on the door of the one who hurt her, who can not let go because he was her life and without him she will fall to the floor and die. Obsession has the intensity of those relationships in True Romance, Romeo and Juliet, and, unfortunately, Fatal Attraction. But obsession doesn't have to be negative, it can be hope, devotion to a person rather than an abstraction.  My Dave is who I believe in, he is my obsession.