Look at this corn dog. It has mustard on it. MUSTARD.
This is a corndog with mustard on it. Believe me. I had 12 specialists from around the world confirm this for me taking approx. 4 months.
Mustard to rule the world
If you didn't already know, mustard is a condiment commonly applied to hot dogs and corn dogs. It is made from the seeds of the famous Mustard plant found often in Europe and West Asia. I'm here to tell you ten crazy facts about mustard and how it can change your life. Hopefully for the better.
The 10 Reasons
1. Mustard tastes good.
Some people may or may not agree with this statement. For those of you who do agree, continue reading. For those of you who don't agree, very carefully leave the room and hide in a safe place because the information about mustard that I am about to reveal might be offensive to non mustard eaters.
2. Mustard is yellow.
If you didn't already know, yellow is the usual color of mustard. Of course it can also have a brownish tone to it or it could be brown all together. It really depends on the different spices inside of your mustard. Yellow is also the color of urine. Yes, the stuff you release into your toilet 3-6 times a day. This only makes mustard that much more amazing.
3. Romans apparently invented mustard.
It is said that the ancient romans were the first to experiment with mustard and all its flavors. You know those guys right? The ones that would have battles to the death in the middle of a giant coliseum. Legend says they smeared mustard on their face before entering battle in the belief that they would gain spiritual mustard powers.
4. Mustard normally contains only 5 calories per teaspoon.
You read that right. There is only 5 calories in every teaspoon of the average mustard. This means you can chug that bottle filled with mustard several times a day and not have to worry too much about your calorie intake. Doesn't this get you as excited as it does me? Now I can eat mustard all day and not worry about a single thing.
5. They make mustard by grinding the seeds of the mustard plant.
This might be one of my favorite ones. They grind the seed of the mustard plant to a fine powder in the process of making it into mustard. It is not confirmed but I hear some people grind down mustard seeds in night clubs because there is always grinding going down in night clubs.
6. Mustard does not require refrigeration.
Mustard has antibacterial properties. Therefore you don't need to keep it in your fridge! You can let it sit out in the sun and it won't go bad. Hopefully... That said, let your mustard sit in that musty old cabinet of yours until you're ready to slather that hot paste onto your weiner. I'm speaking of hot dogs of course. What were you thinking of.
7. Mustard can be used as a weapon.
Some mustards can be very potent to the point where it causes irritation to the eyes and inflame your throat and nasal passages. This usually only happens with home-made mustard so if you're looking to do some throwing of mustard into people's eyes, make it yourself.
8. Mustard seeds ward off evil spirits.
In India and Denmark, it is said that if you spread out mustard seeds around your house, you will be protected from evil spirits due to the mustard's potent flavor and aroma. Well that's great isn't it. You might as well shove mustard seeds into every pocket you have and now you're invincible if a ghost wants to mess with you.
9. National Mustard Day in Wisconsin.
There is a museum in Wisconsin by the name of Mount Horeb Mustard Museum. On the first Sunday of every August, this museum celebrates National Mustard Day. Wow! I also heard from an anonymous person that they shower people in mustard during the celebration. Kind of when a racecar driver sprays champagne all over people when they win.
10. You can eat the mustard plant
Believe it or not folks, you can eat the mustard plant as is. You don't need to turn it into mustard to enjoy it. You can eat the seeds, leaves, and flowers of the mustard plant. You can even eat the dirt the mustard plant is sitting in. The dirt may or may not be edible so consume at your own risk.
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Well there you have it ladies and psychopaths. Ten facts or reasons why mustard will blow your mind. I hope it blew your mind nearly as much as it did me. And I hope you had as much fun reading it as I had typing it. Legend says if you eat a certain amount of mustard in your lifetime, you will be reincarnated into a mustard monster. Please eat mustard responsibly.