Your personality is yourself, and there are as many different personalities as there are people. There are, however, certain basic qualities and attitudes which may be regarded as necessary for any mature personality.
- The mature person look outward. He is interested in the rest of the world. You may be naturally shy and sensitive. You may be conscious of some defect, or something you consider is a defect. Try making list of you good qualities, leaving out of your mind for a moment any thought of bad ones. You will then see what a lot you have to give the world. If, then you should seek out situations where your shyness may be tested and deliberately try to emphasis your good points and use them to help others, you may be surprised at the result.
- Live in the present, After all, it is the only time you have. The past is behind, and you will never catch up with the future. Day by day living can be the cure for many ills. Some people look too far forward. It is common for the imaginative person to dread, quite unnecessarily, some future event. An examination for instance. Yet how "exam nerves" can vanish when once the paper is in your hand there is something to do! Better to use your energy constructively in the present in which you live than to waste it regretting the past or fearing the future.
- Believe in yourself. Don't just accept the other man's point of view. Do not let statements that you feel to be untrue, go unchallenged. If you are in a meeting, make your contribution even if it seem to you irrelevant or even foolish. Remember you see from a unique angle which may be just what is needed at that time. Root out fear of other people. There are those who develop a fine and awe inspiring facade. They are seldom as important as they try to make out; underneath they have the same needs, desires and problems as you have. Be yourself and you are as important as anyone need to be. Do not allow yourself to be swayed by the crowd. There is no saying more fallacious than "The voice of the people is the voice of the GOD." Remember you may be right and the other fellow wrong. At any rate, you owe it to yourself to let your point of view be examined. Believe you have a contribution to make the world needs.
- Balance your judgement. Sometimes wisdom is more necessary than love. Many a person lets "good nature" land him in an awkward spot. Most of us know, to our cost, that to agree to some proposition without real consideration, out of a sheer desire to please, may put us in a position that mature reflection shows we should have done better to avoid. Do not blame yourself when things go wrong. Mostly they are not as bad as they seem to you. It is possible to take yourself to task constantly for solecisms that nobody is worrying about yourself. If you are pursuing what seems to you to be the right course, judge your errors as you would judge a slip in another. Be tolerant of your mistakes. Admit them without rationalization; forgive and be forgiven.
- Spend some time analysing your behavior pattern in different situation, and determine to be rid of childish habit patterns. If your actions are constantly faulty in some respect, it is a habit you have learned. It is possible to learn a different reaction. Such things as temper tantrums, a stubborn unwillingness to alter a point of view, happy-go-lucky attitudes, boastfulness, over-sensitiveness and suchlike things, should be dealt with, seen for what they are (immature and useless survivals from childhood) and more grown up reactions substituted.
- Try to build up the people you meet, so that they do their best. Jealously and obstructive behavior are sure signs of immaturity. A person who is well balanced and mature is always ready to give the other fellow a chance. He know that nobody can really prevent him from fulfilling his own life, he knows that he can best achieve maturity in helping others. By doing so he makes the other person an extension of his own personality and thus enriches his life.
- Make the most of yourself physically. Attend to your general health. From the habit of eating and drinking the right things at the right time. Get the exercise suited to your age. Take trouble with your appearance. It is what other people see of you. It is the first impression your personality makes and the first impression are often vitally important. Attend to your clothes. Notice how different you feel.
- Be alert for change. Stagnation and getting into ruts are death to any vital personality. If you want to keep young keep learning and doing new things. Go to an entirely fresh place for your holiday this year, learn a new sonata, explore a fresh subject, get a new hobby. The world is a rich place and there are more things to do in life than can ever be exhausted. Why be content with a poor life? Take the riches, adventure in new ways, and keep your personality young whatever the years may bring.
- Learn from others. Such study will reinforce your own observation and help in analysing character and motive. It is helpful to keep a note book at hand and to jot down what one sees and learns day by day.
10. Fine personality is not built in a day. Progress is seldom uniform. We have our success and our lapes. Like most other things, the task moulding and building personality must be diligently worked at. There will be some cost in thought and in aches and growing pains. But the rewards are great. For your personality is you, and you are the person you must always live with. There is no more important work for yourself and for all with whom you come into contact than to see that you are the best that you can be.