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The 5 Types of Police Officers

By Edited Feb 26, 2016 4 4

The five different persona's of police officers will help any pedestrian recognize common characteristics in a police encounter and what to do accordingly. Thanks for reading and any feedback is appreciated.

1)  The Lion:


The Lion is the officer that everyone likes.  The Lion is fair and may give you a warning, if your intentions are good and the offense is miniscule.  Although the Lion may give you a ticket he is courteous and sometimes funny.  The Lion plays by the rules and is what a lot of kids want to be when they grow up. 


If you're pulled over by the Lion, then relax, celebrate!  Theres nothing to worry about, in fact, sincerity and a good display of maturity could allow you to get a break. 

2)  The Rat:


The Rat is loved by few and hated by many.  Seldom does the Rat play by the rules and will sometimes accuse the innocent.  Although the Rat treats pedestrians without restraint, his main focus if on the big fish in the world of crime.  The Rat is bold and ruthless, you want to avoid them at all costs!


Rats are absolutely gruesome in some of their tactics and they don't hesitate to bend the rules.  In other words,  avoid Rats at all cost!  There are very few ways to get a break from these guys unless you become a confidential informant.  Becoming a confidential informant, however, would just make you these guys continuous directory for info.  Take the pain Rats have to endure upon you, eventually they will grow bored and move on.

3) The Whale:


The Whale is the cop that you always see at the local fast food joint or doughnut shop.  The Whale is usually more heavy-set and always an extreme slacker.  Getting a ticket from the Whale is unlikely since they usually don't care and use little effort.


If you meet the Whale then observe well.  He's either really nice or mean and if he's mean your only resort would be to offer some sort of food, or food gift-card.  Unfortunately, if you can't play with the Whale's personality or successfully bribe him with food then you're getting a ticket.

4)  The Monkey:


The Monkey loves to receive things and will be anyone's friend, so long as they have something to offer.  The Monkey is corrupt to the core and is only looking out for themself.  Monkeys don't have strict loyalties and will turn on one friend for better "gifts".


Usually you can be straight-forward with monkeys so long as you have money, or some other valuable.  Monkeys are only interested in your money and would rather take something of yours than actually give you a ticket.  To get a break from Monkeys, throw them some money.  Pay attention that you give them enough money because things could go bad quickly.

5)  The Hyena:


The Hyena loves action.  He's an absolute adrenaline junkie and will sometimes go overboard to make a situation "entertaining.  Hyena's are absolutely unpredictable, you will never know what a Hyena is going to do next. 


Rarely will you get a break from a Hyena.  The best thing to do in their presence is be as passive as possible.  If Hyenas sense any aggressiveness, they take over a situation with more force than needed. 













May 29, 2011 10:44am
great job man they are a ficle crow.
May 30, 2011 12:11pm
Thanks dreamaker, except I have no clue what "ficle crow" means ha
Jun 17, 2011 6:54am
I will be more prepared for the tickets now.
Thanks Evan.
Jun 17, 2011 10:14am
thanks for reading my article, kigozi, it was the most fun one ive done so far
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