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The Allure Of The Distressed Damsel

By Edited Nov 13, 2013 0 3

Earlier, a group of friends had a conversation about their respective dating habits. A discussion began about why most of the males in the group preferred women who had constant turmoil in their lives. The women were not the most educated and in general had qualities that differed from what the men previously expressed as being desirable in a potential mate. The answers given by the men would surprise you. You would not believe the year was 2010. Even with progress made in issues of gender equality, men still have an aversion to strong, independent women as potential partners. The following article is not intended to generalize a particular gender, but enlighten on the beliefs held by a small few.

If a woman lives at home with her parents she is not seen as someone unable to care for herself. For insecure men she is a woman who can never cheat on them because she can never have unsupervised male visitors. Women with their own apartments have people who come and go at will. For the insecure male this means she has more temptation and opportunity at her fingertips. A thought partnered with living alone is the advantage of having a female without a car. A woman without wheels is anchored to one spot. When you want her you know where to find her.

A woman of limited financial means is a constant source of double speak for the male gender. Women are labeled "gold diggers" for constantly requesting money. If a women financially needs a man to care for her then he evolves into the role of her white knight. A woman who doesn't require the permission or wallet of a man for her activities is viewed as a threat by the insecure man.

Smarter women frighten off insecure men because smarter women see through lies and deception. Men only do what women let them get away with. If a man has a women that is as intelligent or smarter than he is, it won't leave much room for misbehavior or game playing.

Even after all the social progress made by the female gender, men want to be needed. This puts insecure men at odds with their accomplished female counterparts. For women who work hard to attain certain goals, is their dating future dim? The idea of equal partnership in a relationship seems wonderful to many men but in practice may not be desirable. Has the day of the damsel in distress returned? Or is this a temporary flashback to happier, less confusing times.



Jul 20, 2010 12:43am
It appears that being single and dating in 2010 is a bit complicated. So happy to be married. Thanks Jade_Blue.
Jul 20, 2010 4:59pm
Yes, it really is rather contrived at this point. I find it best to sit back and watch the silliness ensue. Gives me more to write about ;)
Aug 18, 2010 10:37am
I am a very strong independent woman. This is the first time in 30 years that I have been dependent on a man. I have worked since I was 13. I do not want to be the damsel in distress. My boyfriend has been great, but he fortunately likes the fact that I am usually an independent female. He is not insecure, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Great info.
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