The Best Thing I Ever Read
When was the last time you read a good book? You know, one of those books that you just can't keep to yourself but you're definitely not willing to lend because you need it as a permanent fixture in your book collection? Well, I've read one of those recently and I MUST share all that I've learnt with you!!
I would definitely advise you to follow the link at the end of the page and get yourself a copy of Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People or just go out and get it at your nearest bookstore.
Anyway, here goes the million dollar question "How can I win friends and influence people?" especially in the workplace...
As Dale Carnegie puts it
"If one wishes to wear the captain's cap and navigate the ship of business, personality and the ability to speak well, to win people to your way of thinking and to 'sell' yourself are more important than a knowledge of Latin verbs or a sheepskin from Harvard."
Simply put, you need to sharpen you interpersonal skills in order to get by.
Gone are the days when your qualifications and accolades were all you needed to help you advance the ladder to success in the world of work. In today's world, your ability to interact with others and pretty much get people to like you are an asset well worth developing.
So the next big question is how? How can I do this? Well, I advise you to save this to your favorites and come back often for a refresher course. Write down a point each day and challenge yourself to put it into practice.
The tips and tricks I'm about to share with you have been tested and proven to be successful, but they require discipline and continuous use. I will only state a few of the main points and explain them briefly. I will highlight some of the others in future articles and attempt to expand on each in detail at a later date. It's a LOT to take in!! I don't want to overwhelm you!
So, here goes:
- Don't criticize, condemn or complain. Criticizing someone automatically puts them on the defensive. They will automatically view you as being opposed to them and any attempt at forming a friendship or alliance would pretty much fail by default.
- Give honest and sincere appreciation. Everyone likes to feel appreciated. It's an innate human desire. So, try to give praise where praise is due and be GENUINE! Don't be a suck-up or try to be fake... give GENUINE appreciation and chances are it will be reciprocated.
- Arouse in the other person and eager want. If you truly want to convince people to see things YOUR way, you have to make them WANT to. How can you do this? Help them to see how THEY stand to benefit by aligning their vision with yours. At the end of the day, no one wants to do anything in vain, there must be a reward at the end, whether great or small.
- Become GENUINELY interested in other people. One of the ways to achieve step 3 is by gaining enough interest in the person you're trying to win over. When you become genuinely interested in someone else you will get insight into their likes and dislikes and as such, you will know what to bait your hook with to reel them in. Makes sense right? One thing I must emphasize (and Carnegie does as well), is that these tips aren't meant to be used for manipulation. They're meant to help you grow as an individual and develop your social skills. So all these tips must be employed with good intent and only then will you reap good rewards. So, become genuinely interested in others, and really, truly get to know them.
- Make a good impression by wearing a smile. A smile is one of those things that sends the same message in EVERY SINGLE LANGUAGE. A smile is UNIVERSAL! Wear one! Not only will you be more visually appealing, but wearing a smile can actually make YOU feel better. It will also make people feel better to be around you. I remember meeting someone at work and to this day I will never forget her smile! I could immediately tell something was wrong whenever I saw a frown on her face and because of the impact her smile had on me, I made every attempt to help her smile again. So, I challenge you today... wear a smile!
As I told you before, there are a LOT of valuable tips and tricks that are presented in this book that will help you advance not only socially but also professionally once you employ them.
I will stop here for now and give you five days to execute each of these steps. Challenge yourself for a week, then come back to see the other pointers. I really hope you will find this useful. If you have any questions or you want to give me a nudge to get started on the other articles, please feel free to drop a comment and I will do my best to respond.
Til next time, take care