It can be quite a challenge for a man to talk to a woman that he isn't completely comfortable with. Whether she is a stranger you've never spoken to, or an acquaintance you just haven't warmed up to, keeping an unfamiliar woman engaged in conversation can be a complicating task. Only a few easy steps can mean all of the difference between an embarrassing social faux pas, and being well received and building a substantial relationship with a woman.
Things You Will Need
Step 1The most important thing to do is to completely be yourself. There is no sense in reshaping your personality in order to talk with a woman. If you fake who you are, the charade will be impossible to keep up for an extended amount of time. If you decide to talk to a woman and disguise your true self, remember that the woman is not interested in talking to you, but the character that you created for yourself. It is best to be completely real. Women appreciate honesty and can easily depict a man's true colors.
Step 2Try your hardest to be confident in your conversation. Nervousness is a sign of weakness and is typically unattractive. Remember that a woman you're unfamiliar with will automatically judge you within the first couple minutes of the conversation. Just because you were initially attracted to her doesn't mean that your behavior has to change when you start talking to her.
Step 3The best way to engage in conversation is to be positive. When talking to a woman for the first time, keep the conversation light. Be sure to engage in simple small talk and stray away from any negative energies. Negativity corrupts the initial meeting, and your first impression will be that of someone who's uncomfortable to be around. Talk about the weather, the specific city or town that you're in, ask her about her occupation, etc. yet be sure to be positive. For example, if you meet her in a bar and you're unhappy about the service, though it may seem easy to bring up as a conversational piece...don't. You don't want to be known as the guy who complains every chance he gets.
Step 4The next step is to exhibit the traits that you are best at. If you're a funny person, and your humor is generally well received, tell jokes. If you're intelligent, impress her with your knowledge. In every circumstance in life, you should display your talents. These can help give you more depth as a person as well.
Step 5Be sure to allow her more opportunity in the conversation. If she's talking, do not interrupt her. Make her feel as if you genuinely care about every single thing she says. Keep your concentration on her. By giving her full control, she will be more willing to become comfortable with you. Let her know that you're interested in what she is saying by asking her questions about specific things she brings up. If she were to tell you she is interested in gardening, do not try and change the subject to something more entertaining (though it may be a struggle), ask her questions about her hobby. Simple courtesy will make a world of difference in how the rest of the experience goes.
Step 6Once your conversation becomes more comfortable, try not to ruin all success you've accomplished. It may seem easy to amp up your methodology once you're given positive responses, yet this could be a crucial blow. Above all, avoid negative flirtatious behavior. If you choose to flirt with her, be sure to highlight positive aspects in her personality. Do not jump the gun and immediately start commenting on her physical features. Women often have their guards up and suspect men of only wanting sex. Be sure to take everything slow and try not to be too persistent. If you come off strong, you may automatically be filed as a creep in a woman's eyes, and be forever avoided.
Step 7Do not be annoyingly adamant about a follow up encounter once you part ways. If you had the success of exchanging phone numbers, do not automatically text her or call her the second that you get home. Be sure to wait until the next day for communication. This will show her that you're not obsessive and that you actually do have a life. Avoid instant communication over social networking as well. This could also give the same impression that you're slightly obsessive. Remember to wait a while for a follow up (but not too long).
Step 8When follow up communication does take place, be able to take rejection. Be able to think clear-headed and understand when a woman just simply isn't interested. If you ask her for a second encounter, and she seems uninterested; simply let her go. It is much better to meet more women then to become hung up on a lost cause. If rejection does take place, remember that it wasn't a waste of time, and actually learn from the experience. More practice can definitely lead to better results.
This is the method that I personally use in talking to women. It may not be fail proof, but it has a high success rate. I have dated and became friends with many women by using these steps. Practice will always make perfect, and with enough confidence you will see positive results.
Tips & Warnings
Remember that not all women are the same. Some can be completely cruel and treat you very harshly. Just be sure to never get your hopes down. Aim for women who like welcoming and nice, and avoid large groups of friends if you're by yourself. This may put you in an awkward position, and would definitely be a large factor in the overall experience.