There are two schools of thought when it comes to controlled crying. This is a method that some parents find works really well, especially for babies and kids who are having trouble sleeping.
It teaches them that there is no way out and this is a time where you just have to try and do your best. There are parents who really battle with leaving their kids crying in their bedrooms. Of course, you can understand this. Thoughts of being bad parents may crop up.
So what is controlled crying?
The controlled crying method became popular in the 80's, especially when a lot of children were having trouble staying in bed or in their cot. This has seemed to have helped get babies as well as mothers into a routine when it comes to feeding times.
It was once said that babies cry for no reason, and for this fact controlled crying is something that is really useful. Parents are not ignoring their child when they start to cry, but they will time themselves before heading off to see what the matter is.
How to do controlled crying
The trick is to wait 3 minutes and once you find that your baby or child is still crying, then slowly walk over to their room. Give them a Goodnight wave or usually a couple of comforting words. This may be hard, but this is the technique, and this is how it is how to go about the situation.
Don't give him any eye contact because this will just make things worse. Now you have to wait another 3 minutes. It's important to stay calm, relax, and try not to get stressed out because your child will be able to read all of these emotions. Go and make yourself a cup of tea.
Once the three minutes have passed and your child is still crying then go back and repeat the words, which should give them some comfort. You may have to do this 12 more times, and of course, you may feel that it is a pointless exercise the first time around, but things will get better as time goes on.
The big debate
When it comes to something as important as parents, people will always be coming up with different theories. A couple of years ago it was best to use a certain method and now that is thrown out the window and we are on to something else. Who really knows what is right at the end of the day.
Some kids who were raised in the 40's, 50's and 60's were brought up in different ways. Some will turn out in a certain way with personality disorders and others will come out just fine. We always seem to blame the parenting skills, but it's often not the parents that are at fault. There is so much more that is at stake.
For example, the Australian Association for Infant Mental Health have said that there is no proof that controlled crying has caused any physiological stress throughout a child's life. They say the age to start with this is at 3 years of age, Other people say that you shouldn't start before 6 months of ages, but not over 3 years of age.
Well known child development author, Penelope Leach believes that this causes brain damage. She also says that this is an anxiety in their early lives which could develop into something far worse in their later lives.
Leach is comparing kids like these to those left in an orphanage, which you could hardly call the same thing. Controlled crying is not about neglecting your child. Nobody has the answer to this yet. Parents have been using the controlled crying method for years without signs of brain damage and there is one document with research comparing the two arguments so one can't really take anything from this.