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The Dumbest Pet Products Ever Created (So Far)

By Edited Aug 5, 2015 3 7

Back in the day, human only kept pets because they were useful. A dog or cat only kept itself out of the stew pot by performing some sort of job. Now that we do not need to hunt to survive or have an excessive rat problem in our house, your pets have become increasing useless and kept merely for their likeability.

This opened up a whole new market in our economy though, one that you would not think would thrive, but strangely does.

Pet things and pet thing accessories.

pet stroller

Pet Strollers

You know how you have a cat that just will not stay in its leash? Darn stupid cat and its loose skin. If only your loyal and loveable cat could walk with you. Now it can! Get a pet stroller.

A pet stroller is essentially a cage on wheels but not as durable. I'm sure your cat will just be SO interested in the world outside. What with all the loud cars passing by and the dogs that will bark at them, I am sure your cat will have a blast. Have a blast hissing its brains out at everything. pet strollers as a way to walk with your cat are just an awful idea and will probably be super stressful for your cat.

If you use a pet stroller for your dog. Well. Tell that lazy animal to walk with you. Your dogs need exercise and generally 'walking' places with you as opposed to rolling is a good way to get it.

dog poop freeze

Dog Poop Freeze

Part of owning a dog in the city is that you have to walk it so it can get exercise and do its business. The embarrassment you feel when you reach your plastic baggie clad hand into a a steaming pile of dog poop in front of everyone and their brother who feel the need to watch is part of the experience.

Thank all that is holy someone created Dog Poop Freeze.

Now I can freeze that hot dog poo, put it in a baggy and take it home with me without worry of it spoiling.

If you cannot handle picking up warm dog excrement, perhaps you should find a new animal. Believe you me, kneeling down to spray your dogs' leavings with liquid nitrogen will net you a whole lot more of weird looks from people around you.

I cannot even think of who would buy this. Honestly, who would think they need something like this.

outdoor cat run

Secure Outdoor Cat Run

I am well aware cats like to go outside. Mostly to sun themselves, but also to go pounce around in the grass like a lion. I also know that cats can escape yards. You know what is really good at keeping cats in the yard though?

Not a secure outdoor cat run, that is for sure.

To answer the question, it is a well built wooden fence and having at least the front claws of your cat removed. They can frolic all they want in your yard now. Dare then to try and get out.

Back to the product though. You know what cats really dislike? Being closed in. The tighter the space, the less they like it. So go ahead, ruin the outdoors for your cat.



You know what they say, UV rays are getting so high and they are just terrible on the eyes. Luckily the fine product of doggles were created. I always wanted my dog have the proper protection when he spends hours just staring at the sun.

Seriously, what dogs even want to wear these for more than two seconds.

Sure putting sunglasses on a dog for a few minutes is hilarious fun, but that is it. Dogs do not need sunglasses. The creator of doggles created these because he noticed his dog was squinting in the sunlight. I wonder if they took the time to realize the dogs' eyes need time to adjust to light just like humans.

Not to mention doggles seem to be under the impression that dogs only look straight forward all the time. I hope some rabid animal does not come up on its now non-existent peripheral vision.

Knowing something about dog behavior, I bet you frequent wearers of doggles become much more aggressive and nervous. When a dog cannot see correctly, these are fearful traits that come out.

bowser beer

Bowser Beer For Dogs

I under stand it can be hard to find drinking partners sometime. When you feel like your dog is your only friend, it is only natural to turn to them. I guess Bowser Beer was made by a lonely alcoholic.

Woe is that person when they realize they created a beer just so they could drink with their dog without giving them actual beer.


Nail Pawlish

As the very punny name suggests, this is nail paw--polish for dogs. I say for dogs because no cat would let you put this on their claws without leaving a serious wound. However, I am sure a many crazy cat ladies have tried.

You have to imagine our society has a problem when we run out of fashion innovation for ourself that we want to transfer it onto our pets. i sure hope the people at nail pawlish had the good sense to at least make this polish non toxic because I am sure given the chance dogs will work tirelessly to lick, chew, and bite that stuff off.

pet clothing

Pet Clothing

This is the most popular kind of pet product indulgence. This is one of the reasons people buy small dogs and cats. Not so they can have a compact companion, but so they can play dress up with something that looks like a permanent baby.

Stop the madness people.

My dogs have always had the self respect to even rip off a christmas bow and tear it to shreds. I cannot imagine the kind of animal that would want to wear clothes. Clothes are not needed for pets. They have fur, it is warm and almost always very pretty. They do not need anything extra.




Nov 30, 2012 1:32pm
Cute article! Really enjoyed it.
Nov 30, 2012 1:34pm
Thank you, I am glad you enjoyed it! It was a really fun article to research.

Then I decided to forgo writing formally so it became fun to write as well.
Nov 30, 2012 1:43pm
I've only just started here, waiting for approval on very first article. I can tell I have a lot to learn!
Nov 30, 2012 2:19pm
It is not hard once you get the swing of things. There is a big tip thread lurking around somewhere on the forum if you want to give it a read.

The best advice is to keep writing and write about what you enjoy as often as you can, though.

Happy writin'!
Dec 21, 2012 11:45am
HaHa! I love finding stupid ideas. Thinks for grouping some for me. This made my day.
Jan 3, 2013 8:04pm
This was very amusing. I love my dog and cat and animals in general but things have gotten a bit out of control. People will do some strange things and spend an absurd amount on their pets. Thanks for the fun article.
Feb 14, 2013 12:39pm
These ideas would not be any good for the real animal lover- however my mum did say that whilst out in her village she spoke to an elderly lady pushing a stroller with a dog in it- she said it was very old and got tired so she pushed him in it- I did wonder if the elderly lady might not herself have been tired pushing the stroller.
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