Adjusting to Change

There are plenty of parents out there who have never had the help of a partner. They have never had anyone else to help with anything and they work themselves to death and earn every penny they ever make without child support or any help whatsoever. But what about when a person has to adjust from being a married parent who never had to work? They go from having a spouse who supports them so they never have to work and could stay home with their kids all day everyday? Some people underestimate working parents who never rely on anyone, but on the other hand, some people also dont understand what its like to have to adjust. A parent going from having the 'normal' situation at home with a working spouse, and being lucky enough to stay at home with the kids and then having to readjust everything in order to cope with a separation or a divorce...its hard. What has to be done? Well the non working parent should probably get a job, this way they can support themselves without the help of the other parent on their behalf. This is because there is so much pressure as far as the relationship is over, sure they can support their kids, but now they are under no obligation to support the other parent. Daycare? Babysitters? It all adds up. It is hard enough to find a babysitter let alone one that is affordable! Even daycare can cost an arm and a leg. People are lucky if they have family members who are able to watch the kids at any time so the single parent can work. Adjusting to being alone in the house is another issue. This is stressful whether people realize it or not to go from laying next to someone for years and relying on them for everything, and now they are gone. Regardless of the reason for the split, it is a very sad situation for anyone, especially with kids involved. Money for a divorce or in some cases even for a legal separation can be money that just isn't accessible. Being civil towards each other especially around children is something else that can be hard to cope with for some people going through this situation. Some people may say 'Keep it together for the kids.' but thats not always as easy as it sounds. Feelings of emptiness, failure, weakness, lost dreams, good memories- all of that runs through a person's head and it is all normal even though it is so very sad to think of. It may be hard to imagine actually going through with something like this, but for people with children, it is time to step up and make the changes. It will be hard, but if it is inevitable, then finding ways to cope and gain strength is very important. Money, independence, sitters, kids, jobs, bills, the house, belongings, all of these things that were rarely actually mentioned all become so very important that it all starts to get overwhelming. Many people can get through it without struggle, but many people may struggle for a very long time trying to find acceptance. Finding peace within oneself and realizing what is more important in life is what can get a person through any hard situation. Especially one that can be this devistating. There are many counselors who specialize in this area and who are willing to listen and help a person find ways to cope and move on in their lives with determination and motivation. It is important to find someone to talk to and to not keep hurt or angry feelings inside, especially when there are children in the home. Too many times people turn to drinking, drug use, or neglect towards themselves, their children, their jobs, their family, or anything else that is important. Motivation to move on and change for the better is one of the surest ways to believe that anything is possible, even happiness.