You only get one and this is as good as it gets!

  • Fact One - Like it or not, you get one body and that’s your lot for the duration. There are no refunds or exchanges possible and no extensions on the shelf-life - yet!
  • Fact Two - You are 100% responsible for the upkeep of your body - if you fill it with and treat it like crap it will look like crap and will not be suitable for it’s intended use or last the duration. There is no guarantee or warranty, if it get’s broken that’s that.
  • Fact Two & a Half - Models and Pop Stars are not real people, they are air-brushed. All the other "real" people in the world want to change bits of their bodies just as much as you do. PS lips puffy from collagen implants do not make for a good look.
  • Fact Three - At birth, you also receive a brain. Some seem to think this is an optional extra but the effective use of the brain is actually quite key to the success of your life and the development and positive use of it is strongly recommended.
  • Fact Four - What you do with your life is entirely of your own choosing. You make the decisions and live with the consequences. You can complain about the manufacturers (parents), the development team (teachers), the maintenance department (the national health service), or even Simon Cowell’s Pop Idol if you like, for not giving you the best possible chances in life. Once you hit adulthood you will actually know as much as they do. At this point you have total control and the opportunity to change everything. Your life is what you make it. Wallow in self-pity and negativity or get off your backside and change what you don’t like and go get what you want.
  • Fact Five - There is a great deal of truth in the saying “the grass is greener on the other side”. The trouble is you will never get to the other side because when you get there it becomes your side and the other side has sold-up and moved out of the neighbourhood. The moral of the irritating saying: be happy with what you’ve got and if you don’t like it, change it.
  • Fact Six - Winging does not solve problems. If you don’t like something change it. Okay it’s hard but if you read the small print in your "life" contract it does actually state “life is not easy”. There are a host of people who will take pleasure in reminding you of this so just accept it and try to make the best of things.
  • Fact Seven - Positive thinking does actually bring positive results. Negative thinking just ends up giving you a crappy day.
  • Fact Eight - You will always have problems whether it’s how to keep a roof over your head or whether Zalando can deliver your shoes in time for the party. The problem is not the problem, it’s your attitude towards it. Whinge and the problem will take up residence in your life, solve it and it will be replaced by another problem - you can only hope the replacement will more manageable in size.

The meaning of life can be boiled down to two things: you’re born then you die. What you do in the middle is the only thing you can control so be positive, accept what you like and change what you don’t. Above all else, lighten up and enjoy it.