The Number One Threat to America Today: Zombies

If asked what the number one threat to the United States is I would say quite confidently it is the zombie invasion. People would say I am crazy or stupid but I think I can break it down very logically.


An apocalypse in my estimation would be the total break down of the civilization where people are pitted against people, doing anything to survive and sacrificing that which they once held dear to stay alive. In a post apocalyptic world priorities would change dramatically, Facebook updates would say things like “setting snares to catch the neighbor’s cat C U L8R.” I am sure we would be less interested in what Paris Hilton was up to assuming she wasn’t taken early. I think the hierarchy of needs would change dramatically.  Food, shelter, water and security would move to the top of our to-do list.


Why zombies? Well in a pretty common definition a “zombie” is a person who was once healthy but due to fate or choice now languishes about not really alive feeding off healthy, energetic, productive people. Certainly, it is a general definition and it probably doesn’t ascribe to the Romero zombie definition but I would consider that definition as deadly as any undead ghoul. Having travelled around the world, on a few occasions I have seen first-hand whole villages turn into zombies. In 2007 in a place called Sadr City a whole community turned into zombies; after the 82nd airborne pulled out of Sadr City because the local militia leaders would rather live in chaos than be protected my American forces. Brother against brother, husbands attacking wives, zombie hoards roamed the streets preying on shopkeepers, taxi drivers and any other productive member of the population. The zombie horde wasn’t interested in brains, but was just as mindless as a cursed soul one would see in a video game. The undead day walkers quickly dispatched any that did not join the hoard or chose to resist.  Zombie hoards are not just restricted to Iraq or Afghanistan in the United States on August 2005 there was a zombie outbreak after Hurricane Katrina made land fall. In the aftermath of the storm the overwhelming majority of residents tried to rebuild their lives but, unfortunately the walking dead roamed the streets in broad daylight “feeding” on the weak or vulnerable.


People would be likely to say “it will never happen to me” or “I will be fine because I store food and water” I would ask that any responsible person heed this warning: our towns may be ripe for a zombie invasion that the world has never seen before. So long as people feel they are entitled to what you have worked for, or see that fairness dictates you sacrifice yourself for the good of the colony you are at risk. The zombie has an insatiable hunger for your health and well-being, the only thing that zombies aren’t interested in are other zombies. Zombie-ism is a mental disorder that manifests when the victim believes it can act anonymously or without repercussions. To protect yourself and your family you must fight against the zombie mindset with all that you are, by the sweat on your brow and full of vigor for freedom and individualism. If you don’t want to get eaten, don’t walk around looking like food.